fuck my ass and call me a bitch

Expletive; usually used to express extreme dismay or anger in a situation deemed as very surreal or upsetting. It is appropriate in instances where one can do very little to improve upon a terrible situation, and therefore can only find recourse in swearing and/or expression of rage. "Cunt" may be substituted for "bitch" if an even stronger pejorative is desired; adjectives can be added on to "ass" and "bitch" if further appropriation is necessary.

Listen, I'm very sorry to tell you this, but I told her about your relationship with Lizzy and I doubt that she will ever get over it." "Thanks for screwing up my life, asshole! Fuck my ass and call me a bitch, huh!?

by Lax1334 November 23, 2011

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Yalla! My sultan wishes you dead!

An exclamation made by Egyptian captains in the Medieval II: Total War Series.

Yalla! My sultan wishes you dead!

by Porkenstein October 12, 2008

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I need to sort out my life

Every assholes go-to excuse for ignoring you so they could play games and talk to other people.

You: Hey, I really miss talking to you!
*five hours later*
You: Oh... I guess you don’t feel the same way.
Them: Sorry, I need to sort out my life.

by Getrekt911 June 18, 2019

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This isn't where I left my oatmeal

Similar to "this isn't where I parked my car", it's a phrase used during a fight or awkward situation

Facebook convo:

Person 1: I hate you you're a bitch
Person 2: Fuck you and die
Person 3: You're just mad because she fucked your boyfriend
Person 4: This isn't where I left my oatmeal...

by MuchoMoney August 14, 2011

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