would you like to sign my petition

If you hear this said by a guy with a leather trench coat and sunglasses, run as far as you can.

hi there would you like to sign my petition?

by mycockiscutinhalf January 23, 2021

Suck my dick and call me nancy!

A phrase used to show suprise, or disbelief. Substitute for woah or wow

"Dude I'm down at time square, where are you"
"At home, why?"
"Dude, some lady is standing on one of those big signs with a poodle and a rifle, get down here!"
"Well, suck my dick and call me nancy! I'll be there!"

by Jimi, The King August 16, 2009

fuck my ass and call me a bitch

Expletive; usually used to express extreme dismay or anger in a situation deemed as very surreal or upsetting. It is appropriate in instances where one can do very little to improve upon a terrible situation, and therefore can only find recourse in swearing and/or expression of rage. "Cunt" may be substituted for "bitch" if an even stronger pejorative is desired; adjectives can be added on to "ass" and "bitch" if further appropriation is necessary.

Listen, I'm very sorry to tell you this, but I told her about your relationship with Lizzy and I doubt that she will ever get over it." "Thanks for screwing up my life, asshole! Fuck my ass and call me a bitch, huh!?

by Lax1334 November 23, 2011

Yalla! My sultan wishes you dead!

An exclamation made by Egyptian captains in the Medieval II: Total War Series.

Yalla! My sultan wishes you dead!

by Porkenstein October 12, 2008

I need to sort out my life

Every assholes go-to excuse for ignoring you so they could play games and talk to other people.

You: Hey, I really miss talking to you!
*five hours later*
You: Oh... I guess you don’t feel the same way.
Them: Sorry, I need to sort out my life.

by Getrekt911 June 18, 2019

This isn't where I left my oatmeal

Similar to "this isn't where I parked my car", it's a phrase used during a fight or awkward situation

Facebook convo:

Person 1: I hate you you're a bitch
Person 2: Fuck you and die
Person 3: You're just mad because she fucked your boyfriend
Person 4: This isn't where I left my oatmeal...

by MuchoMoney August 14, 2011

My son so dumb iq 21

HE TRIED TO MAKE FRIENDS BUT THEY CHING CHONG HE EAT THE WON TON BUT HE FAT LIKE KIM JUNG

My son so dumb iq 21:boy 1

by anonymous March 27, 2023