touchebag 

Someone who engages in constant, unnecessary oneupsmanship, always in search for people to say "touche."

Person A: Oh yeah, I hiked all of the Appalachian Trail last year.
Person B: Wow, good job!
Person C: That's nothing, I hiked the Himalayan trail.
Person A: Well, to be fair, I was just recovering from a broken leg.
Person C: I had a broken leg and broke the second one while hiking!
Person B: Don't be such a touchebag.

touchebag by rexnom November 1, 2009

It didn't touch the sides 

An unfortunate genital mismatch. Either the woman's vagina is too loose or the man's penis is too small/thin, hence 'It didn't touch the sides'. Also used to disparage a woman by suggesting she has been too promiscuous.

I really liked him but when we had sex it didn't touch the sides.

It didn't touch the sides by CalSouth March 11, 2015

Touch Tip 

Similar to "touch base" but with two gay dudes.

Gay dude: I haven't seen Jim in a while, maybe I should touch tip with him.

Touch Tip by Reeeeeeeeze December 31, 2011

Touched 

What you say when you are screwed over by something.

"Dude, I didn't study for that exam today...Touched!"

Touched by Mavericklax4 April 2, 2007

Macho Gay Touching (MGT) 

When a man and another man harbor secret sexual desires for each other (either known or unknown) and use 'many' gestures to express their passion without others knowing. Gestures can include: Back thumping, head locks, and arm punches being held a little too long, and turn into arm around shoulders. Being completely manly of course.

1 goes up to 2 and forcefully pats back as a way of greeting, and lingering a little too long. Fist bumping and holding it there. Coming up behind someone sitting and putting hands on shoulders.

Oblivious people see it as macho men's way of greeting each other, more aware people see it as Macho Gay Touching (MGT)

Can also include things such as sharing meals, and buying matching shirts, even though they are not included in the "touching" aspect.

Macho Gay Touching (MGT) by PikFish November 18, 2009

bed touchers 

Breasts so large that when the woman lies down, her boobs flop and touch the bed

When you see a woman you say "Look at those bed touchers"

bed touchers by SSSSkip August 16, 2007

tarquin touchcloth

when you follow through after a vigorous fart

'Oh Christ, just did a Tarky Toucher in my Undies'

tarquin touchcloth by Beardo April 27, 2004