Monkey Wrench

Fool, gullible person. See Tool.

Quit being such a monkey wrench, Vellius. Chris knew it was you the whole time, you shippler.

by MJK October 8, 2005

porch monkey

A derogatory for a person of african or african american decent. BUT it could also mean a generally lazy person. This term came to be when you think of african americans sitting on there porch chatting it up. Also in the movie Clerks II, the sequal to Clerks, Randal tries to reclaim it as a new term for lazy people. And thus offends several customers and his boss.

*Police Officer sees Porch Monkey 4 Life written on the back of Randal's Mooby Uniform and looks flabbergasted*

Randal: Im taking it back!

EX2

Racist: You filthy crack smoking porch monkey!

by Dodectabone July 21, 2006

Hot Monkey Love

To engage in hot serious sex. To go at it with the prowless of a monkey. In that you actually make each other wanna make noises similar to that of a screaming monkey.

We got our freak on last night, We made 'hot monkey love' !!

by krunchie December 3, 2003

white monkey job

A white person who is tricked with or without knowing that he or she doing the job as a face value of that company. These jobs are usually available in a country where there aren't a lot of "white" foreigners. Examples: a white person is asked work at a restaurant. The owner/manager would use that "white" foreigner as a face to their restaurant. This is where the restaurant might get more attention or people coming in to their restaurant. So, it is basically an advertisement.

Owner: Hey you want to work for our company?
White person: sure.
-behind- the - scenes
Shady business.
----
Owner: we got a white person in our company. He/she will make us a lot of money. "Muhaha"* <~~ no one really does that but go on<~~~
manager: muhaha
White monkey job is a white foreigner work at a restaurant/company. Etc . As a face value.

by Fantasticninja March 5, 2017

Purple Jizz Monkey

A Purple Jizz Monkey is the overly complex drink ordered by the d-bag in front of you at a crowded bar. Often served as a shooter, this drink is characterized by its convoluted and redundant ingredients, and is almost always ordered with 4 or 5 other equally impossible drinks. When the fuck-ram in front of you orders a Purple Jizz Monkey, this invariably delays your drink purchase by several minutes, and the chick you were talking to before you went to get drinks is probably already fucking some townie.

“Thanks a lot, Melvin, you took like 20 minutes to get our drinks and now we’re all sober.”
“Dude in front of me ordered like 5 purple jizz monkeys, my hands were tied.”

by Bill Sampson, Esq. February 21, 2009

tele-spankin' the monkey

Term for when IT or sales staff "work from home" three days per week.

You can't get any fuckin' thing done around here because those support pukes are tele-spankin' the monkey.

by Three Beers April 10, 2009

mondegreen

A misheard song lyric or occasionally other utterance. The funnier the better. Originated when the seventeenth century ballad "The Bonnie Earl of Moray" was misheard; "they have slain the Earl of Moray/ and laid him on the green", became "They have slain the Earl of Moray/ And Lady Mondegreen".

Examples of mondegreens:

The ants are my friends, they're blowing in the wind. (After Bob Dylan).

They've all come to look for a miracle. (from "America", by Paul Simon.)

Jumbled shack flash is a gas, gas, gas. (Rolling Stones.)

Lock the cash box, lock the cash box. (The Clash, "Rock the Casbah".)

Olive, the other reindeer. ("Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer".)

There's a bathroom on the right. (Originally "there's a bad moon on the rise", from "Bad Moon Rising" by Credence Clearwater Revival.)

The girl with colitis goes by. (The Beatles.)

Jose, can you see? ("The Star-Spangled Banner".)

Blessed art thou, a monk swimming. (Catholic prayer "Hail Mary".)

by Fearman November 19, 2007