mathematics

n.
1) A mind-altering form of logic and proof, practiced and developed largely by nerds and geeks, having its origins in prehistory. That study of logic in which simple ideas such as number, line, point or symmetry are used and combined to describe the properties of number, point, line, plane and symmetry.

Subjects within a modern mathematics degree might include selected topics from;

Number Theory: the analysis of why not all numbers are like the number 1.

Calculus: Differential calculus is the study of how to find the slope of a single point while integral calculus is the study of how to add up infinite quantities of numbers and obtain a single finite number as a result.

Topology: The study of how coffee cups are actually quite similar to doughnuts.

Mathematics as a form of mental kung fu is used extensively in all the sciences and in business and trade, it is at the heart of all technical progress. The average person uses mathematics, for example, to locate bargains in shopping malls by simply looking at a few numerals on a price tag.

Hey Cuthberton, did I tell you that I used some kickass zen master mathematics to calculate which mathgirl I would ask out to the science fair?

by Costa Del Barto June 25, 2006

malpheasants

1. (prim. def.) Wrongdoing or wrongful acts by certain large birds of the order Galliformes while acting in an offcial capacity.

2. (alt. def.) Wrongdoing or wrongful acts committed against certain large birds of the order Galliformes while acting in an offcial capacity.

Volunteer Deputy Constable (and part-time unarmed sporting event security enforcement officer) Russell Peabody committed an act of gross malpheasants (alt. def.) when he planted some throw down grass-seed-based scat near two colorful male Galliformes in a crude (and disgusting) attempt to justify their arrest (and prompt death by BBQ) pursuant to trumped up allegations of petty malpheasants (prim. def.) involving the unauthorized consumption of a partial ruck-sack of county grass seed from the football field maintenance shed during the local Punnischt, OK, high school's annual trouncing by the visiting "Fight'n Pheasants" from West Lafarge, OK.

by texlex61 January 29, 2009

manthem

Agressively male chant/song as may be used on the football terraces or going into battle to rouse the troups.

'ere we go, 'ere we go 'ere we go!

by Dr Johnson March 7, 2004

beer mathematics

Used to define a person's inability to count (particularly beers) when intoxicated.

Guy 1: How many beers have I got?
Guy 2: You've got 2. You drunk 2
Guy 1: But I had 4
Guy 2: I know. you drank 2, and you've got 2 left
Guy 1: So there's 2 empty ones left, and 2 unempty ones?
Guy 2: What the hell is unempty?
Guy 3: XD I fucking love beer mathematics

by Grunge Monkey October 9, 2005

Maltese Mud Cannon

A sexual practice involving usually two males, one male shoves a battery in and our of his japs eye a few times then begins to masterbate, the second takes a shit into the first guys engorged uretha. the first man continues to masterbate and jizzes out shitty man semen into the mouth of the first

Edward: Yo ek you horny?

Ek: I kinda really need a shit

Edward: Im so horny, hows about a Maltese Mud Cannon

Ek: Oh my god, that is almost the best idea ever, im desperate to slurp up the slippery shit

by Reverend Pope May 27, 2010

Malzheimers

Going to the mall or shopping and forgetting about everything else you were supposed to do.

I would have made it to my appointment on time but I got a bad case of "Malzheimers" and before I knew it I was late.

by The REAL VITO! July 22, 2009

mathematically masturbaiting

The act of masturbaiting while looking at numbers. You can do this during math class, maybe while doing some math homework.

Joe: yo, what's nick doing?

Kevin: oh he's just mathematically masturbaiting. He's just trying to get that problem solved.. If ya know what I'm saying ;)

by Idek what I'm doing November 23, 2015