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Fedora Douchebag Threshold Theorem

The sociological rule that one person wearing a fedora in a larger group may be stylistically unique, but two or more people wearing a fedora in a larger group renders every person in that group a douchebag.
Check it out - another fedora. What a douchebag.

No, wait - if it was just that one dude it might be cool, but two of his bros are wearing them too. According to the Fedora Douchebag Threshold Theorem, all five of them are douchebags.
by CreditToJoe August 19, 2010
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Schrödinger's Douchebag

A guy who says offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him.
Any website that lacks effective moderation and allows some level of anonymity will, to varying degrees, approxomate 4chan, and be overrun with Schrödinger's Douchebags. Now this type of person defends, for instance, rape-jokes by saying "all humor is inherently punching down because there must be a butt to every joke." He hasn't thought about it. he assumes it's true because he figures "(he's) a smart guy, and whatever (he) assumes is probably right", but he's unfazed if you prove otherwise. There's no shortage of dodgy reasons he might be right and you wrong. He'll just pick another one. What matters is the game continues.

-- Innuendo Studios example of Schrödinger's Douchebag, "The Alt-Right Playbook: The Card Says Moops"
by The Logical Fallacy February 3, 2019
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Douchebagery

Definition of Douchebagery: 1. The act of being a douchebag. 2. The skill of exploiting people’s emotions for your own profit or benefit, the exploitation of common sense
knowledge in an effort to sound smarter than one is, trying to produce a grandiose image of oneself by producing overrated reading material, preying on weak or troubled individuals to further ones public image and to increase ones monetary gain, jumping to harsh and illogical conclusions based on limited information, and trying to advise individuals in field(s) in which one is not knowledgeable about and can offer no real advice outside of general public knowledge but still tries to profit off of it.
Dr. Phil is a avid practicer of Douchebagery.

John Edwards used the art of Douchebagery to make it seem like he could talk to the dead.

Maury Povich practices Douchebagery whenever he brings retarded kids on his show.
by Zack November 25, 2004
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Douche Marks

When a female liberates a vaginal discharge on a item of furniture, clothing or other object. Douche marks are usually the bi product of sexual intercourse.
Man you and your lady left some wicked douche marks on my couch last night.
by The Laughing Man EP October 21, 2007
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total douchebag

A jerkoff who has no redeeming value left at all.
An asshole who has surpassed all the limits of assholery.
A douchebag who has sunk to lowest level of douchebaggery.
A lowlife who richly deserves a severe ass beating for soiling the planet with his existance.
That total douchebag has screwed me over good this time!
by jsd9632 April 20, 2012
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Corporate Douchebag Speak

The typical jargon used by corporate executives completely out of touch with the peons actually doing the work. Will refer to six sigma, core values, team effort, denominators, profit sharing etc. Meanwhile they are clueless as to how real world operations occur.
Mark the new CEO came in and gave the all-hands meeting a company overview. Unfortunately it was just a bunch of Corporate Douchebag Speak. He's off to Hawaii while I'm pulling OT.
by GodzilllavsMothra February 22, 2014
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Gym Douche

Usually a young man from the Northern East Coast area. Always has a "wing man" (also a Gym Douche). They usually wear Air Jordan shoes & basketball shorts, and baggy shirts with the entire sides cut out. Also sporting their fresh Blow Out haircut. They make copious amounts of noise and hit on the local gym girls. They also believe that they own portions of the gym and have certain rights that "Regular Members" don't have.
Regular Member: "Hey man are you using these 20lb weights?"

Gym Douche: "Yeah I have two more sets."
Regular Member: " Ok. What about those 25's right next to you that you aren't using?"
Gym Douche: "Naw man I'm using those too."
Regular Member: Sighs under breath "What a douche!"
by Kahjitte January 21, 2012
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