Dwarf Jesus

A would-be saviour who is incapable of fixing his own problems, but insists on saving you from yours. Salvation, in this case, involves crucifixion of the focus of Dwarf Jesus' attention, since Dwarf Jesus is too short to crucify himself.

Dwarf Jesus occasionally is correct, but this is a statistical anomaly, and should not be trusted.

Verily did Dwarf Jesus say then, "Father, Father! Why hath thou touchest mine naughty bits?"

by Wodn May 4, 2009

Jesus junk

Term used by Christian retailers to describe small plastic toys, pens, and pencils that have been imprinted with trite religious phrases to be handed out to children for memorizing Bible verses in Sunday School.

by Daryl May 11, 2003

Hatin' on Jesus

Falsely accusing someone of doing something wrong when in fact that person did nothing wrong. Similar to someone hating on Jesus for........ I don't know why someone would hate on Jesus. All he did was help people and "they" killed him. Ain't that a bitch!?!

Person 1: Hey, my car won't start! I let you use my car for one day and you broke it! What the fuck?

Person 2: Calm down bro! Your battery was old and needed to be replaced so I sent Parker to the store to get a new one for you. So basically you're hating on Jesus. Why you hatin' on Jesus bro? Why you hatin' on Jesus.

by MoneyMatt573 December 17, 2010

Jesus-cheap

Something so cheap you say "Jesus!"

Jesus! Twelve bucks for that? That's Jesus-cheap!

by petetoth March 16, 2009

Black Jesus

Kaleb, the living embodiment of black jesus.

Bro you know that new kid Kaleb?
Of course look at him, he is Black Jesus.

by Real Black Jesus December 16, 2019

Jesus cock

A Jesus cock is despised and rejected by men beaten abused and crucified by its owner only to rise again as the perfect cock for any vagina the Jesus cock is the savior of all vaginas that have been cleansed and washed again and are clean and fresh a Jesus cock once revealed to the woman is irresistible to her it is the cock of cocks

I found out dominic has a Jesus cock I am obsessed now

by ffffffffuck me 2020 March 27, 2021

Jesus bracelet

A fashionable bracelet sported by many Christians and non-Christians across America. They are just soooo fashionable that even people who don't believe in Jesus wear them.

Hey look she's wearing a Jesus bracelet.
I thought she was Atheist.
Yeah she is, but Jesus bracelets are in style so she is keeping up with the latest fashion. Duh.

by Jesus bracelet wearer March 26, 2010