New-Phone Theory

When you are out of ideas to tell your friend why he cannot get a girlfriend, or female attraction. So you have to be nice and say it’s the quality of his camera, say he needs a new phone.

No Jacob, you’re not ugly. Just get a new phone, the women will be all around you! It’s called the New-Phone Theory!

by Djay_man July 7, 2021

theory-fiction

Trust as fiction.

Specifically trust as an appearance.

Trust-as-aesthetic.

Trust as an epistemology or structure-of-truth.

Theory-fiction argues that truth is expressed in terms of language and trust is expressed in terms of an aesthetic (structure-of-truth).

by tomorrowtomorrow December 14, 2018

The John D. Theory

Any object, substance, or person has been created or built by a man/woman named John/Joan D. Whatever they created takes the place of their last name.

The John D. Theory is as follows: John D. Earth, also known as God, created the Earth.

by Kyle Ninneman February 28, 2020

Pie theory

If a woman knows how to make pie (pita), she knows how to cook.

Oh, she knows how to make a pie? I’ve also heard that she makes other food really well. That means the pie theory stands.

by Boz1998 September 30, 2023

Conspiracy theory

What about Fat-Cock Self-Preservation Theory, Cody? What do you think of that one? The most profound and accurate conspiracy theory on the web!

Hym "How's this for a conspiracy theory: The accusations of liar and grifter do nothing to hurt right-wing pundits EXPLICITLY BECAUSE they aren't intended to hurt them but, rather, deflate the value of liar and grifter accusations in a deliberate attempt to cover for ineffective political opposition. Because sure you're calling them a liar and a grifter but if you can keep them in the forefront of people's minds you can keep out the MORE EFFECTIVE opposition out of the lime light and maintain the status quo. So, denigrating the political opposition ISN'T TO GET YOU TO STOP LISTENING TO JORDAN PETERSON... It to get you to focus on Jordan Peterson instead of me. Because he is harmless and ineffective and I am not."

by Hym Iam April 12, 2024

Critical Booty Theory

An analytical framework first proposed by Sir Mix-a-lot postulating that all social institutions, laws, and mores are rooted in a reverence for booty.

Democrats and Republicans came together to recognize the importance of Critical Booty Theory as a framework for legislative decision making and adjudication in the legal system.

by Quan Master Quan July 12, 2021

Noose Theory

The Theoretical idea that a noose, being a loop at the end of a rope that tightens when a load is applied, cannot and will not kill thyself, if chosen to have the inability to.

Let’s test the noose theory, if you really think you’d die from it.

by 24moorej January 2, 2025