Hand Blumpkin

The act of jerking off while taking a crap.

“Chick left me, and all I’m left with are hand blumpkins.”

by Witch_Devil May 11, 2023

the Hand of Yeti

Combination of "handjob" and "Yeti" (Yeti is another name for the Abonimable Snowman who is an ape-like creature who is said to live in the mountains).

The Hand of Yeti is a handjob by someone with ice cold hands.

She gave me the Hand of Yeti. Brrr!

The Hand of Yeti causeth me to go brrrrrrr

by Ae5Ea8 July 4, 2016

Hog in hand

Being caught off guard / Being in awe

"Did you see that knockout on UFC last night? I stood there, hog in hand, wishing it was me in that octagon! Then I started throwin' fist pumps."

by CaLeDee August 11, 2008

knob hands

(British English)

A man's hands made unclean due to neglecting to perform the necessary ablutions after using the bathroom.

Oi, all the taps are broken! That means that bloke coming out of the gents' has knob hands.

by greted September 15, 2016

wubba hands

when you smell your hands randomly, and they smell like pussy

"Wow, my hands smell really good! I must have wubba hands!"

by thedarkshight November 12, 2017

skittle hand

The hand of a man (usually a homosexual) filled with skittles, put by their dick, while they are given a blow job.

As in "Taste the Rainbow."

Show me how tasty your skittle hand is.

by Independence76 January 13, 2009

hand hammered

Being punched in the butthole.

Why are you walking funny Charline?
Last night I with Fred and got hand hammered, hard.

by screamingmeme32 November 1, 2014