Jonas Brothers 

JONAS BROTHERS =

1. They actually like men, but weren't ever attractive enough to attract decent men, so they though HEY LETS PEDOPHILE 12 YEAR OLD GIRLS.
YAY.
2. They're ugly because their parents were cows.
3. They say they're Christian, but really they're Amish. SHH, SECRETS.
4. They've actually gotten blowjobs, handjobs, and got their vaginas fingerbanged by their 12year old fans.
5. Cockroaches write their music.
6. They fucked Walt Disney's dead body, and that's why Disney allows them on their channel.


THANK YOU :)

JONAS BROTHERS :
1. NICK : Damn, I wish we could be gay.
JOE : BUT WE'RE UGLY :(
OTHER BROTHER : HMM, 12 year olds are hot these days.
All : YAY.

2. ALL THE BROTHERS: HEY MOM AND DAD.
MOM AND DAD : MOO.

3. NICK: OH NO, THIS GIRL TOLD ME TO CALL HER! BUT IM AMISH.
JOE : OH SHIT.
NICK : plus buy me condoms, cause im 14 and need them.

4. NICK : OOH BABY.
12 YEAR OLD : I DONT KNOW HOW TO SUCK DICK BUT I LOVE YOU.
JOE : SUCK ME TOO.
OTHER BROTHER : FINGER BANG MY VAG.

5.COCKROACH : I WRITE THEIR MUSIC.

6. WALT DISNEY : OOH BABYYY.
NICK, JOE, OTHERGUY : DAMN YOU'RE TIGHT.
DISNEY PEOPLE : ROFL. YOU'RE IN.

Jonas Brothers by YOUR MOM SUCKS JONAS DICK. August 6, 2008

JOnas BRothers 

A group that has no future in their life. They have really bad songs, and they simultaneously go out with Miley Cyrus and other crap celebrities.

Hey, you know that band Jonas Brothers?
Yeah, why?
Coz they suck.

JOnas BRothers by Mr X is asleep. February 15, 2009

Jonas Brothers 

Three guys (if you can even call them that) who for some reason have a shit load of fans even though they clearly do not possess any talent; you would realize this if you weren't retarded.
Their "music" (I almost threw up writing that) is supposedly directed at 8 to maybe 14 year olds, yet ALL THEIR FUCKING SONGS ARE ABOUT LOVE. No damned 10 year old knows what the hell it feels like to be in love. See a problem? Hopefully you do 'cause man, there's a LOT of them.
Random things I feel like ranting about:

1. They. Are. Not. Rock. Not now, not ever. If you think they are rock you should probably just drop dead now. Like, right now. Thanks.
2. ANYONE comparing JB to The Beatles should automatically just fall off the damned earth on to their own little planet of terrible music (JB, Miley Cyrus, all other Disney tools). It's best for everyone who actually know what real music is.
3. I see them EVERYWHERE I go. Which is indeed a horrible sight on account of I don't enjoy my eyes spazzing at the sight of them. And on that note...
4. THEY'RE SO FUCKING UGLY. Christ they look like deformed giraffes combined with dead raccoons (no offense to either specie).
5. It makes me laugh in a beyond retarded manner when the best insult fans can come up with is "YOUR JUST JEALOUS!!!!" ('Your' usually used instead of the correct 'you're' on account of their brains have melted to nothingness). The fuck is there to be jealous of? Sure I'm not famous, sure barely anyone knows my name, but I have more talent than they will ever have, thus, THEY should be jealous of ME. Biiitch.
6. Hopefully, if we are lucky enough, in a few months JB will dissapear without a trace. Now that, would be AWESOME.

Yea that was my rant.

They have such shit lyrics. I'm sick of people saying that they're so meaningful and inspiring:
"I climb a tree outside her home.
To make sure she is alone.
She looks up and sees me there.
Still I can't help but stop and stare.
That's what I go to school for.
Even though it is a real bore.
You can call me crazy.
She is so amazing."

First of all, what the hell why are the Jonas Brothers stalkers? They sound like a creepy version of Dr.Seuss. Second, if a Jonas Brother climbed a tree outside my house to be creepy mother fucker I'd push him off and call the cops. Third, how are these lyrics meaningful? Well, I guess they COULD be meaningful.. to someone who's a bloody stalker and does this every night to some poor, poor soul.
& Yes, I searched up Jonas Brothers lyrics. Yes, I am downright ashamed. But it's better than knowing the lyrics! Gotta give me something for that.

Jonas Brothers by RAHHHHHH March 12, 2009

Jonas Brothers 

A canned band with the brand of disney.
They don't sing, they don't play the guitar, they walk around the stage and sometimes dance and jump up and down. Here's the big question. When everyone is jumping around and neglecting their instruments, where's the music coming from.
(PROTIP: Not them)
Also, purity rings? Give me a fuckin' break.

9 YO girl: I love the Jonas Brothers.
Me: I know, it's really not your fault at all. Blame Disney for getting at you before your mind's fully matured.

Jonas Brothers by Anonymous1245 June 24, 2008

Jonas Brothers 

One of the many horrible things coming out of that corporate, brainwashing company, Disney Channel. Sickens me.

You can trust me, when I say I am WAYYYYY smarter than any crazy girl who obviously could NEVER get a boyfriend, therefore developing some idiotic celebrity crush on someone who you will NEVER meet.

Nick Jonas will never EVER marry you!
He will never KNOW YOUR NAME!
He will never read that fan-mail you spend your time writing!
AND EVEN IF HE DID HE WOULD HE WOULD CONSIDER YOU ANOTHER ANNOYING FAN!!!

My advice to any girl who has a crush on Jonas Brothers:
GET A REALITY CHECK!!! Why don't you start wearing a bra, buy some deodorant, and GET A BOYFRIEND!!!
(preferably one you've met, knows your name, and is actually attractive)

And I am a 12 year old girl, reading at a college level, math at a 10th grade level, and I have been going out with my boyfriend (13) for over a year.

And I would get beat up SOOO bad if I even MENTIONED them at school(trust me, it happened to someone else)

And yes, this school does have 15 year olds too.

Girl- OMG!!! Don't you LOVE the Jonas Brothers!?! They are SOOOO cute!!!

Me- Maybe you should have a crush on someone from the same state as you. Or at least one you've talked to.

Girl- Oh, who needs you? I'm gonna listen to my new CD.

Me- OW!!! MY EARS! MAKE IT STOP!!!

Jonas Brothers by Angelicawalker123 October 1, 2008

Jonas Brothers 

Three little faggots, from Wackmeoff, jersey, who sit in a tree and masturbate to eachother, and call playing the meat whistle and skin flute music... Now, they insult the whole music community by just being alive, kinda like a nowaday Hanson.

The Jonas Brothers like men

Jonas Brothers by Bileth October 29, 2008

Jonas Brothers 

a talentless "band" consisting of three rediculously ugly, borderline homerotic brothers named paul, joe, and nick, who make millions a year by selling sex to preteen girls.

-Their fanbase consists of approximately 70 trillion 10-13 year-old girls who's parents won't let them listen to "explicit" songs and so have no idea what real music sounds like.

-In every song they say the word 'baby' about 50 times.

the only reason they haven't been arrested for being rampant pedophiles is because they wear "Purity rings" and say that they can't have sex until they're married. Thus, they are allowed to rape the ears
of trillions of 12-year-olds.

Jonas Brothers: Oh baybay, we want to stalk you and watch you through your window. Check out our awesome purity rings.

brainwashed preteen: Oh Joe, i want to have your babies!

joe bros: come into our trailer and let us have ear sex with you.

brainwashed preteen: Oh god, yes! Anything!

Jonas Brothers by beefjerky54621 March 30, 2009