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Emotional masturbation

Watching extremely sad tv shows or movies, listening to extremely sad music, or thinking terribly sad thoughts to force yourself to cry as a release of built of sadness.
I watched Crash last night and cried for two hours because I had so much shit going on in my life I needed some emotional masturbation.
by Patrick Snipes October 9, 2008
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brain masturbation

You take a thought provoking concept and decide to think extremely deeply about this particular concept. Something which often confuses most people or which has never been/cant be solved. The person thinks about and explores many areas of this concept to such an extent that they feel very mentally exhausted and also may experience a headache. In extreme circumstances epitaxis (a nose bleed) may occur. This can then be compared to the familiar term of wanking where sperm is ejactulated on pleasuring the penis - using the brain to extreme effect that blood is produced (sperm) = brain masturbation(wanking)
the concept of time zones - do you actually live longer if you move from one zone to another, depending on the zone and your place of birth - where brain masturbation originated from

what death feels like

afterlife

time stopping
by patrick3amnicole July 19, 2010
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Masturbationaful

When used as an adjective, this word means:
Something so beautiful/good that people genuinely start masturbating upon noticing the person/item that is "masturbationaful".
Man person 1:"Dude, did you see that masturbationaful new teacher at school?"
Man person 2:"Oh yeah, she made me rush to the bathroom 3 times today..."
Man person 1:"Dito!"
by SuperCuboneTripleX3 March 2, 2011
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ear masturbation

The Pleasure of Manual Auricular Canal Stimulation (also known as Q-Tipping and ear pleasure)
Ear masturbation is almost as good as the real thing! {Q-Tipping} {ear pleasure} {earoticism}
by Ear Masturbation February 23, 2015
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academic masturbation

When a professor assigns an article in which they are cited for the sole reason of reminding students how much they know. It can be one citation or ten, if they're referenced, you're reading it for class.
A: Did you read those articles for class today?
B: Yeah. Professor Smith was referenced in three of them. Total act of academic masturbation on his part.
by Spoonsy March 29, 2008
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Masturbation Roulette

Masturbating to any tv show or movie and hoping the more attractive character happens to be on screen when you finish.
I was playing a little Masturbation Roulette to the View today. I was hoping do finish to Elizabeth Hasslebeck, but I ended up on Joy Behar!!
by Dokk Holiday August 3, 2010
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Masturbation Revelation

Finding out, that after masturbating, you don't really want to do some of the sexual acts that you deemed a good idea while aroused or horny.
"Dude I was totally gonna go have sex with my Ex Girlfriend yesterday. I was stoked!"

"Well what happened bro??"

"PSH! I had a Masturbation Revelation after I jerked it to try and make it last longer. I texted her after I finished whacking it and told her to fuck off! Then I went and ate a sandwich"
by Rooster Jake August 27, 2011
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