Chilling with the hose

What you can say to your Catholic Asian mom while in your backyard pool with the garden hose

Emily: *holds up hose* “Look mom, I’m chilling with the hose!”
Emily’s mom: *smiles and laughs*
Emily and Ari: *cackles*

by tragicqueenofthenorth September 7, 2019

Loose hose

A sensational reaction that occurs when a male is suddenly put in such a strong sexual situation that the male's flaccid penis releases its load without prior alarm, as if the penis was a "loose hose".

The man got a loose hose when he encountered Olivia Wilde waiting for him in his bedroom.

by Jibby Kootz June 10, 2013

drain the hose

Most commonly refers to taking a piss, but may also refer to masturbation.

Be right back, just need to drain the hose.

by strikingoil May 24, 2014

Rubber Hosing

Having sex even though you are completely flaccid.

Middle Aged Man 1: How was your night with Martha? Did you use the sildenafil I gave you?

Middle Aged Man 2: Nope. We went Rubber Hosing.

Middle Aged Man 1: What the fuck.

by GiveMeGrape December 8, 2019

Broken Hose

What you may call a penis when a guy is peeing female-style.

When a guy is lazy, he may occasionally urinate in a sitting position, causing his penis to appear as a "broken hose", casually leaking into the toilet.

by eternaldoom September 12, 2011

Hose Wrangler

When you get your ass kicked by a waterhose while filling a waterbed.

Tim was a real hose wrangler yesterday.

by new1daga December 1, 2009

You're hosed

"You're hosed." = "You're sh*t out of luck."
You are now in a hopeless position, with no known ways of escape or solution.
A polite way of saying "You have no hope."

"Hey Nick, my mother in law is coming to town next week. Any chance that one of your family members have died or something? Is there a funeral going on? I am really not trying to see her."
"Sorry John, unfortunately for you - no one has died. Looks like you're hosed."

by The guy who knows a lot. October 25, 2014