When a guy can't go any further with his girlfriend because he is too pious with his religious beliefs.
synonyms: cockblock, Jesus, religion
antonyms: sex. running the bases
Guy 1: "Man, Landon can't get any action from his girl."
Guy 2: "Why not?"
Guy 1 "He's got that Jesus cockblock
antonyms: sex. running the bases
Guy 1: "Man, Landon can't get any action from his girl."
Guy 2: "Why not?"
Guy 1 "He's got that Jesus cockblock
by rocky2012 December 26, 2011
Get the Jesus Cockblock mug.by JavaCrona and Mars345 September 16, 2009
Get the Jesus on paper mug.when jesus was around he'd masturbate into cups and make people drink his seamen b/c if they drank this jesus sauce, they believed they'd gain his powers.
"my great-great-great-great-great-great (x's 45) grandfather jimmy drank jesus sauce once a day and learned how to walk on water!!!"
by Gjelstiznles July 31, 2006
Get the jesus sauce mug.Main character in the best selling fiction book of all time. Don't bother reading it though, he dies in the end.
I'm so bummed that Jesus Christ got killed off in the end of the Bible! But hey, they could totally make a killer zombie movie from his resurrection.
by skifreemt February 25, 2010
Get the Jesus Christ mug.V-Jesus is when a car powered by a Honda Engine with VTEC hits 6,000rpm's and then continues to exceed passed the magical stock redline embracing hitting 9,000rpm's releasing Jesus from your engine. Once released, Jesus cast a light of enlightenment showing you have hit V-Jesus and that it is now time to shift.
by batmang January 24, 2005
Get the V-Jesus mug.someone evincing 2 or more of the following symptoms:
1: proclaims the lord is coming with the imminent end of the world
2: has signs on their person, car, or home with bible quotes
3: goes to church more than once a week
4: started their own christian offshoot cult because the rest aren;t pious enough
5: tries to foist an extreme form of christianity off on others
6: is a born-again christian and/or fundamentalist
1: proclaims the lord is coming with the imminent end of the world
2: has signs on their person, car, or home with bible quotes
3: goes to church more than once a week
4: started their own christian offshoot cult because the rest aren;t pious enough
5: tries to foist an extreme form of christianity off on others
6: is a born-again christian and/or fundamentalist
every time i see that jesus freak walking around with his "god will save, the end is near" sign, i want to convert to satanism just so i can sacrifice him.
by minghi May 21, 2003
Get the Jesus freak mug.The iphone by apple. A phone that makes you feel like Jesus. In fact Jesus probably has one himself.
by Burkus December 19, 2008
Get the Jesus Phone mug.