Skip to main content

jesus x

Remember: Whenever we say "Christmas," Christ always comes first. And whenever we say "X-mas," X comes first. Not many people know that Jesus Christ's real name is "Jesus Little." He changed His name to "Jesus X" to show that He was His own person and didn't need the white man's slave name... He was His own man. Which explains the meaning behind X-mas. It's just short for "X-Man's." Because the X-Men had superpowers... just like Jesus.
jesus x, praise be unto him, he can shoot l.a.s.e.r. beams out of his eyes.
by jimomaha April 7, 2008
mugGet the jesus x mug.

Jesus

The Son of God, The Lion of Judah, The Prince of Peace, True Vine, The Way, The Truth, The Light, The Door, The Savior of Mankind.
by The Josh September 22, 2004
mugGet the Jesus mug.

Jesus Fuck

When you lay her down on a crucifix, and nail her three times. On the third day, you'll be able to get a rise again.
Bob: "I heard Sara got Jesus Fucked last summer".

Tony: "Is that where you put her on a crucifix and nail her three times?"

Bob: "Yeah dude."

Tony: "Holy, holy, holy lord. God of power and might."
by The mysterious Mr.R April 16, 2011
mugGet the Jesus Fuck mug.

Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo Stick

An exlamation of disgust or alarm
"Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick! That capsized truck was carrying a freezer full of livers to the hospital, what a mess!"
by SpiderGirl April 30, 2003
mugGet the Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo Stick mug.

jesus christ

some dude commonly believed by the same kind of morons
jesus christ? actually doesn't exist!
by chun hyang February 6, 2008
mugGet the jesus christ mug.

Jesus Christ

1. A word used to express anger. Avoid saying this in front of Jesus Freaks, it will upset them.

2. Some guy stated in the Bible. He supposedly died on a cross and died for our sins. Now he's gonna save us all or something like that. Of course we all know this is absolutely retarded, after all, the only reference is a really big book.
1. Jesus Christ, why the hell is my wife doing another man in my bed??

2. All the Bible is, is a big book, ok?? Who wrote the book? God? Ok. Yeah. God wrote the Bible and then came down to earth and gave it to some guy so he could show it to everyone. YEAH RIGHT. You know what really happened? Some guy wrote all this bull so that he could make some money.

And how come even in the Bible, men have all the power? I though "Jesus" believed in equality for everyone!! Wtf?

Tell you what, when Jesus "Saves" you, I want you to come down here with him and show me. THEN I'll believe it. Thank you.
mugGet the Jesus Christ mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email