Skip to main content

Moraine Valley Community College 

Also known as Moron Valley, is a half-ass college that was founded in 1967 and is located in Palos Hills, Illinois in the southwest suburbs of Chicago. If you live in the southwest suburbs of Illinois and don't go away to a four year university then this is where you usually end up going. The main campus is nestled in the Cook County forest preserves.
John: You goin' away to college this year? Chris: Nah bro I'm going to Moraine. John: lol you're going to moron valley? Chris: Dude it's Moraine Valley Community College. John: Sorry professor.....lol
Moraine Valley Community College mug front
Get the Moraine Valley Community College mug.
See more merch

I love college

Asher roths first big hit. caused him to simultaneously gain both a grip of fans and haters. funny thing is that the song is a pretty big misrepresentation of asher roth on both accounts. causing him to be called a "white rich kid from college". try listening to songs such as G.R.I.N.D, muddy swim trunks, and battle me to get a real grasp of his work.
guy #1: asher roth is cool man why does he have so many haters?
guy#2: becuz of i love college people think hes a rich white college kid...
guy#1: hunh, i dont think you can control what your born into, and sense when is college a bad thing?
guy#2: i dunno man. hes lyrically badass and siick to listen to stoned.

Kenyon College 

A sick-ass school full of kids who are pretty smart but have other priorities than just academics. Lots of hipsters and bros, but there are also plenty of people don't fit into stereotypes but get along fine with those who do. Professors are pretty chill, the swimmers are D3 gods (D3, but still), the campus looks like Hogwarts and the chicks have been looking better in recent years. Students know how to party; Shock Your Mama and Summer Sendoff are Keystone-fueled shit shows, but students do everything else pretty well too, from saving the environment to putting on theater productions to forcing unwanted members of the administration to resign.

Alumni include Rutherford B. Hayes, Paul Newman, Bill Watterson and Ted from How I Met Your Mother, all paragons of awesomeness.
Ivy League Kid: You go to Kenyon College? Like, Africa?
Kenyon Kid: No, in Ohio, and I get some every weekend because liberal arts schools have a sweet guy-girl ratio, and there isn't much else to do other than study or party or go hiking in the wilderness.
Ivy League Kid: Sounds fun, but I have to go write fourteen essays and postulate some calculus theories.
Kenyon Kid: I'll probably get a higher-paying job than you because I do a ton of extracurriculars. Peace out.
Kenyon College by apl1457 February 26, 2009

marist college kogarah 

home to around 1000 wogs in sydneys kogarah/rockdale region. worst place an aussie can get an education, shithouse school full of ignorant lebs
LEBBO: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT CUNT, GET THE FUCK OUTA MY FACE! Now let me look up cheap car parts on eBay to put in my rust bucket....
ME: .....loser
marist college kogarah by John October 24, 2004

Landmark College 

A place so obsess and with its own reputation that it bluntly violate freedom of expression and dissimulates every problem the college has.
Landmark College actually calling up urban dictionary to take off the previous definition.

Tuition could be better spent!
Landmark College by shuuch December 21, 2009

St. John's College 

St. John's college is one of the oldest colleges in the United States. The college has two campuses, on in Maryland and one located in Arizona. The college is famous for it's Great Books curriculum and it's emphasis on the liberal arts. Also, everyone does the exact same major and no one at the college seems to think that's weird.

Students at St. John's at called johnnies and they do not have professors. Instead they have tutors. A St. John's tutor is normally very much like a St. John's student; highly intellectual, quirky, eccentric and either a pot smoker, a regular smoker or a drinker.

Basically if you go to this school you really love old books about old dead people and are the epitome of the intellectual. You probably like tea and mythology too.

St. John's has no test, just oral examinations.

A large percentage of students from St. John's are also admitted to grad school. The ones who do not attend grad school try and find jobs with their liberals arts degrees. So they join the peace corps and shit like that. Or just marry another Johnnie.

If you want to attend St. John's, keep in mind that although they have very high averages for test scores and the like, the admissions committee basically admits you on your essays alone. Everything is secondary.
"Hey, you go to St. John's College?"
"Yeah."
"You like it?"
"Well...like is a relative term...but assuming you're using the same definition I am, which here we shall say means looking fondly upon my experience as a student up until this point, yes."
"Uhm, what are you talking about?"
*gives dirty look*

Girl Jonnie: Hey! Wanna talk about books!"
Boy Jonnie: YES I LOVE THEM
Girl Jonnie: Socrates or Nabakov?
Boy Jonnie: I have an erection

Marietta College 

A small private liberal arts college in Southeast Ohio. The mascot is the Pioneers, or Pios, as we like to say.
Greg: Hey girl where do you go to school?
Olivia: Duh. I go to Marietta College!
Marietta College by PVPrincess January 3, 2009