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eric paul johnson

A person who cries as he ejaculates and proceeds to drink the tears and semen. He once ran for class president but lost to a chalkboard eraser. At the age of 15 he discovered that his father is actually half a turkey and bacon sandwich. People have speculated as to EPJ's sexual orientation, with the top possible orientations being: the attraction to elder mountain goats, attracted to David Caruso's sunglasses or the attraction to Steve Buscemi's elbow crook. He once voted for Mikhail Gorbachev in American idol.
yeah that eric paul johnson, what a useless gaseous mass.
by yeah, him June 2, 2011
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The Johnson

The Johnson is when a man wakes up in the middle of the night, usually trying to get some booty, (not always, see examples below) and is rejected. When this happens, he proceeds to masturbate on his girl, in anger. There's three different known types of The Johnson.

1. The Johnson- Male masterbates on female then in good manor, cleans it up.
2. The Clean Johnson- Male masterbates on female in shower, water from the shower cleans her off.
3. The Dirty Johnson- Male is so pissed off because he is rejected that he masterbates on the female and leaves it there, for a nice surprise when she wakes up.
Erin got The Johnson on her birthday, she dosen't need a receipt for that!
Erin got The Johnson for her birthday, she dosen't need a receipt for that.
by Topher Johnson February 15, 2008
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Mashed Potato Johnson

During sex, One gets a hot bowl of mashed potatoes,and spoon feeds his partner with his penis.Also he can use his penis like a catapult to Fling the Mashed Potatoes into his partners mouth.
Did you bang her yet?
>Yeah,we did freaky stuff,I gave her a Mashed Potato Johnson and It flung into Clarissa's eye
by horizonWhitey February 25, 2010
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Johnson

Group of guys in Norther Wisconsin that think too highly of themselves and too poorly of others. They often travel in packs, letting everybody know when they have arrived to a party. They like to think that they are good at every activity they take part in simple because they are "Johnsons." Refer to everybody that is not a Johnson as a "Chach." Often times, these Chachs are better at the activities the Johnsons believe themselves to be so great at, but since they are Johnsons, they automatically make fun of the Chachs.
During a game of beer pong:
"Ha! Nice shot, fucking Chach. Too bad you aren't a Johnson."
by Cakes1988 December 23, 2008
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Walter Johnson High School

Stereotyped as the wealthiest school in Bethesda . A school filled with mostly Preppy white kids trying to find a party to seek pleasure in. Dare and take a 5 sec. glance cuz you will be seeing HOT football players, HOT soccer players and GORGEOUS girls dripping in Tiffany's that everyone is jelaous of. Parking lot filled with SUV's and Mercedes Benz. COMPETE is what its all about here. Everyone wants to be better than others. Guys in their Madera shorts and polos while girls with D and G shades therough the halls... oh and did i mention the HOT chicks...? Mainly, If your smart and hot this is where you wanna be
Girls, help me out i cant decide....X5 or the S 500?
by rich kid wj 08!! November 2, 2009
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Nick Johnson

I shouldn't have hired that Nick Johnson to do a man's job.
by Bongsnvagluvr May 30, 2011
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johnson

A black man's penis/dong/wang/dick/knob/trunk/hose

A Johnson must be very long.
"Yo nigga! Put chow Johnson away!"

"Sorry lady, I didn't know you could see ma Johnson"
by Mishal May 13, 2005
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