mental masturbation

To perform some activity, typically IT related, where performing the activity gives the performer almost sexual pleasure while doing it, yet nothing of any value or lasting value is produced. Mental masturbation is reasonably acceptable in the privacy of the performer's home, but not on their employer's time. Mental masturbation may be the reason for overly complicated and hard to understand solutions being implemented in one company, despite simpler and more commonly understood solutions being used at a number of other companies in the same industry.

To workmate, on Monday morning, "Guess what I did over the weekend! I rewrote Linux in FORTAN! Cool huh!"
Workmate, unimpressed, "That sounds like mental masturbation to me."

by Shylock Merchant September 22, 2008

Masterbater

One, who feels the need to touch and feel upon himself/herself, in order to get sexual pleasure.
See: masterbate

The kid across the street is a damn masterbater, did you ever smell his hands?

by OneHungryHungryHippo May 4, 2004

masturbating

to MB with all your might. MB is a slang term for masturbating. masturbating means to seize the penis and to move it around according to your own comfort level. it forms a somewhat meaningful sensation.

"Billie Joe Armstrong, do you want me to get your bedpan?"
"No, sorry I'm busy masturbating."
"So then have you seen our wedding ring?"
"I think it dropped in my pants while I was masturbating at our Green Day concert."

by Jakob Armstrong April 19, 2006

masturbater

Inaccurate spelling of masturbator.

Uncle Fucker, the masturbater from Decatur, masturbates every day when he sees Kelly Ripa on TV.

by dionyziz December 3, 2007

masturbatoff

Although a word that surely has something to do with masturbatingit actually means to breath.

"Dude! stop masturbatoffing on me"
"i love to masturbatoff, i need to masturbatoff"

by ocean4632 January 13, 2009

intellectual masturbation

Talking to hear the sound of your own voice. See mental masturbation or bullshit.

He went on and on about how many uses he had for an avacado and a water pik, but we didn't want to hear about that intellectual masturbation

by Bur Seliu June 11, 2006

Premarital Masturbation

Masturbation, or touching of one's self, jacking off, playing the yum yum trumpet etc. Before getting engaged or married.

Gee, you hear about the pope's Premarital Masturbation?
Ya! I think he should go to hell or at least get laid.

by Taeko Hentie April 25, 2006