chicago baptism

Walking in the door and getting hit in the head with a fairly large dildo.

I loved Ebon’s story of his Chicago Baptism, as told on Late Night with Seth Meyers on June 19th 2024.

by ms2023 June 20, 2024

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Brown Butter Baptism

When due either to sheer size or the unfortunate effects of age related gravitational force, a man's privates take a "dip in the pool" during the course of a seated session on the toilet. The Brown Butter Baptism can occur during the act of dropping the steamer, or as a result of the swirling effects of a courtesy flush. The BBB is particularly undesirable when loose bowels are a factor, such as in colonoscopy prep.

Wow, that brown butter baptism really burns. I should never have eaten that burrito.

Somebody needs to invent a crapper nut sling so I don't take a brown butter baptism every time I go #2!

by 13.9 March 21, 2022

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Cracker Barrel Baptism

An oral foreplay move where one deliciously delivers a flow of vomit over a mildly erect penis to cleanse it of it’s previous poundings.

Tip: You turn it into an exorcism by consuming liberal amounts of Nashville Hot Chicken prior to preforming the move.

Q: Hunny you’ve been hound pounding the dog again so you know where gonna have to do a cleansing.

A: Oh no. My balls. They are filled with sin.

Q: Alright. It’s time for your Cracker Barrel Baptism.

by EmœÆntħøny February 20, 2024

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Chicago Baptism

To accidentally sit in a seat, wet with SOMETHING, on the CTA. Do it once, and you’ll never do it again.

There was one seat open on the red line, and before anyone could warn me, I got my Chicago Baptism.

by Chicago Zym June 26, 2024

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Vinegar Baptism

As outlined by M.Williams it’s a far more efficient means of extracting intelligence then water alone.

We were first baptizing the goat fucker with water untill we found out the severity of his sins and were forced to utilize a vinegar baptism which is far more effective means at washing away sins.

by FNG007 April 23, 2019

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