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Notional Hand Job

The act of giving someone an imaginary hand job. This is done by shaking a a closed fist in the air, simulating a stroking action. This action is used for a wide variety of reasons, whether it is for raising morale, thanking someone, or congratulating someone. It is in no way wrong for one man to give another a notional hand job, because the it's notional, and not real. Either sex can give either sex a notional hand job.
"I gave my friend a ride home and since he did not have gas money, he returned the favor by giving me a notional hand job."
by Notionally Existing September 6, 2011
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Habanera Hand Job (HHJ)

When someone dices up 1 or many Habanera peppers into a paste, rubs the paste all over their hands, then proceeds to administrate a hand job to some lucky recipient.
I thought I was gonna get lucky with Lucy, but the burning on my schlong indicated that she had given me the Habanera Hand Job (HHJ).
by mawheele January 17, 2008
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Porcupine Hand Job

When grasping for an object (such as wood or fiber glass) and receiving a hand full of splinters.
Dude, I was grabbing for a pallet at work and I got a Porcupine Hand Job.
by Dangod392 November 19, 2010
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text message hand job

A text message hand job is when you are getting the "run around" from friends or family thru text messages. When you call no one answers or the reception is said to be very bad or they are in a dead zone.
Tom: hey billy,I tried texting todd and sue to see what they are doing tonite, but they text back they aren't sure, todds gonna check with sue, and then sue told me she's gotta check with todd. typical saturday night text message hand job !
billy: fuck them man! lets get some bank and hit the strip club, nothing but real handjobs going on there !
Tom: Hells Yeah ! !
by Jack de wack February 4, 2009
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Harambe Hand job

When you sprinkle pepper on your partner's face while having vaginally sex and having them sneeze making there vagina clench tight on your dick like a gorilla's fist.
Guy 1: You dude anal is great, but is there a tighter feeling?

Guy 2: Harambe Hand job by far.
by Chaaldnox March 4, 2018
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May Hand job

For one day every year falling on the 17th of May a man is entitled to a complimentary Hand job from his respective parter. This is an ancient tradition which must be upheld in order to restore peace and good fortune for the following year.
Good morning my dear. Just to remind you it's the 17th of May and we must complete the harvest of the may Hand job ritual in order to attain good luck and fortune.
by Corpserooter June 6, 2018
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Angry hand job

When your partner hates having sex of any kind so they choose to jerk the other off in a hurried, rage filled way.
My partner hates sex, but often they will give me an “angry hand job”.
by Avast Ye Scurvy Dogs January 8, 2020
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