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The Crusades

A war fought to drive the durkas from durkastan so that the Super Jesus Friends could rule supreme in Jerusalem
"We must drive the durkas from Jerusalem, the crusades ftw!"
by Joel Anderson May 30, 2006
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crusades

A series of conflicts (1096-1204) in which European conscripts called by the Catholic Church attempted to conquer the Holy Land. The First Crusade (1096-1099) was actually an answer to the Byzantine Empire's (the surviving eastern half of the Roman Empire, and the largest Christian country at the time) call for assistance fighting the Muslims. Pope Urban II asked the Catholics to go on an "armed pilgrimage" to the Holy Land and establish a kingdom there. This call wasn't answered by any monarchs, and very few nobles or knights. For the most part, the "crusaders" were an angry mob of commoners such as peasants, merchants, and prostitutes. Somehow this mob managed to establish a kingdom in Jerusalem, which later fell to the Muslims. The Second Crusade (1147-1149) was a bit better organized, but was met with heavy Muslim resistance. The Third Crusade (1189-1192) was answered by King Richard I of England, King Philip II of France, and Frederick I Barbarossa of the Holy Roman Empire (Germany). Frederick drowned in a river on the way to the Holy Land, and Philip and Richard began fighting among themselves. The Fourth Crusade (1202-1204) was the last major one. These crusaders weren't even after the Holy Land this time; they sought to defeat the Byzantine Empire, and thus were fighting other Christians.
The fact that the Crusades even happened is sadly ironic, as Jesus' teachings were of love and peace.
by MX December 16, 2003
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Crusading

When a person likes someone of the opposite sex with the intentions of things going into a relationship non-existant or the intentions just being to hook-up with that person, and these normally end with many people being very confused or emotionally hurt.
That girl went to the party with the intentions of only Crusading.
by MLweaponX December 29, 2010
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Crusader Kings

Boy oh boy, if you thought hoi4 was bad, well you ain't seen nothing yet. Crusader Kings, commonly shortened to CK, is a game with the first one being boring, the second one being good, and the third having some potential. The game, being set in the time period of 769-1453 in the case of Ck2, means that there's some weird stuff going on, including religious intolerance and forced marriage. Of course, you can also play as the victims of this, PROVIDED YOU HAVE THE RIGHT DLC! Yep, you need DLC to play as Muslims. Honestly, the games themselves are fine, but the problem is always the fanbase, some salty 13-year old fascist complaining about the removal of Deus Vult from Ck3. At this point, there are 2 kinds of Ck players, someone who just kinda wants to see a nice dynasty grow and do some medieval roleplay, and some actual racist, who probably breaks his computer every time his dynasty is inherited by a gay person or a woman. Anyway, the game is fine, just stay away from multiplayer, at all costs. Oh and the reddit has 0 context in the titles so much that the titles of the reddit posts got its own subreddit.
Person 1: "I like Crusader Kings."
Person 2: "oh cool, Deus Vult"
Person 1: "you have ten seconds to leave before I pulverise you."
by thefitnessgramafwe23rware August 20, 2022
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Cabbage crusader

a phrase depicting one who uses glue as a lube and either on purpose or by accident, glues their hand to their crotch.
He is a cabbage crusader, he had to go to the hospital to remove the super glue from his cock.
by zombirific 1 April 19, 2012
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Chemo Crusader

The title of someone who is bald and travels to a friend’s house at 1 in the morning to put orange juice on their doorstep. They have a strange tendency to like hugs.
That goddamn Chemo Crusader showed up at my house again.
by iwantdousdie January 13, 2020
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ketamine crusaders

Some who crusades on ketamine so much that they earn a reputation for it
“Jon is such a ketamine crusader” “I’ve got a 5 aside game with the ketamine crusaders but I’m not off there for the football I’m just of for a brawl”
by Properscran May 20, 2023
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