Crap Almond

Means everything and everyone. Can be used in any situation but especially useful in expressing emotion.

How did your test go?
I failed it, I totally feel like a crap almond.

by happinesswithwings January 9, 2009

crunchy almond mom

A mom who believes that vaccines cause autism, essential oils will heal every ailment and who only feed their children "organic" food.

"She bought an entire case of organic water, what a crunchy almond mom"

by lexistexas May 1, 2023

Almond joy arms

The outcome of a relatively skinny person going to the gym and only using the bicep machine, causing their arms to resemble an almond joy.

Joe; "Is it just me or does Colby have almond joy arms?"
Dylan; "I think he's been hitting the bicep machine a bit too hard."

by JH82 November 20, 2017

almond joy

A white mans penis, with lumps.

Bro, let me eat your almond joy.

by GIngyboi June 1, 2020

Cranberry Almond Crunch

When you give someone a bowl of rocks and milk and trick them into eating it, so they mouth get all bloody, and they teeth fall out like cranberry almonds.

I have to wear dentures now because Denise served me a cranberry almond crunch.

by Storm Thurmond July 7, 2010

ivory almonds

Slang term for Morphine or pills such as oxycontin or Valium.

Do you have any ivory almonds left in your bag?

by Ziobear2 July 28, 2018

Almont

A small town in the thumb of michigan that has a population made up of rednecks, whores, attention whores, douche bags, rednecks, and only a small population of decent people... did I mention rednecks? There is absolutely nothing to do in this town, and you will for sure regret moving here. The drama is insanely ignorant, mostly between the attention whores and the just plain whores.

Rednecks- Usually guys who live in the Almont trailer park and drive a beaten up, rusted, dented old chevy or ford truck and think they're the shit. They also eat raccoon for dinner.

Whores- Do I have to explain? They're probably the worst breed of Almontians except attention whores.

Attention whores- Girls who go around creating all the fucked up ignorant drama in this town. Usually start it on facebook or myspace. Usually post pictures on facebook saying how ugly they are for attention. Also, are frequent participators in the dreaded "duckface."

Douchebags- Usually guys who think they're "hood" when in reality, they live in the subburbs of Almont with their parents.

Decent people- If you find one of these people in Almont, keep them. They're very rare.

Person: Where are you from?
Almontian: Almont!
Person: Get. Out. Of. My. Presence.

by YYoyoyoyoyoyo May 27, 2012