Santa Claus

A man who gets off on watching children 24/7 and making a list of Those who are nice, and those who are “naughty” he uses this list to choose his targets and break into their houses. He is often depicted as obese due to the fact that he lives exclusively off of stolen baked goods and dairy products, but in reality he must be RIPPED from all of the walls he scales and he has to be fairly lean in order to squeeze down all those chimneys. Mose people believe he gets around so fast because of a majical slay and a team of flying reign deer with LED noses, but this is very unlikely because he would be so easy to spot. It is much more plausible that the child stalking creep with so many different names is actually riding around in a white van to blend in with the snow and to have room for all of his “gifts” that he’s used to gain children’s trust worldwide! The only question remaining is, “is Santa Claus coming to your town?”

Me: I think I just heard something on the roof!
Macaulay Culkin: I’ll go deal with it.
Me: Wait! It could be Santa Claus!
Macaulay Culkin: Your right... I’ll bring extra bricks.
Me: Good idea! Now go put an end to that creep!

by iabast December 25, 2020

Santa

The hecking hecker who broke into my hecking house to fuck my mom and eat my stuff. Then I found and tortured him, only letting him go after he signed a contract obligating him to bring me shit every Christmas so that I don't rat him out.

Look, Diana, it's that piece of shit, Santa! Make sure to bring me something good next Christmas you asshole!

by Largigest cheezy boi December 30, 2020

Santa Claus

A mysterious fat entity, said to dress in red clothing, that sneaks into houses and steals food. The common scientific name for this strange, rotund creature is "Homo holidayus". It is also known to enslave caribou to carry it's fat self to more food. One field study conducted near this creature's home base revealed another major fact: He also enslaves dwarfed human beings. Also observed was a caribou with a strange, glowing red nose.

Person 1: Did you hear about the cookie thefts last night?
Person 2: Yeah, they were caused by the infamous Santa Claus.

by -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- January 5, 2021

Saint Timothy

Is the patron Saint of masturbators

Saint Timothy looks down and protects all mastrubators

by Highness January 13, 2021

saint_sama

It’s definition is someone who uses social media and is superior

‘Oh it’s a saint_sama’

by SumDumKid February 15, 2021

Saint Patty’s Day Treat

When you feed a woman only collard greens (like a lot of collard greens) and then fuck her ass on St. Patrick’s day. This results in a wonderfully odorous layer of green shit on your cock, fit for any Irish celebration.

Matt: Yooo dude, my dick still smells from that Saint Patty’s day treat.

Caroline: Damn bro, that sounds delightful.

by SilasBirch March 16, 2021

Saint wonk

When a zoot has some wonk to it

Wheeyyy ya dickhead, your zoots got saint wonk

by Saint Dawgy Dawg April 7, 2021