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Texas History

A class that you have to take in 4th grade and 7th grade in Texas. It's pointless and no one ever pays attention. Everyone copies the answers from the stupid text book. I honestly don't know anyone who knows shit about it.
Me: Crap I have Texas History next
Other Person: Skip it. You don't learn anything anyway.
by sparkleziez August 6, 2009
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Texas tea

Slang term for crude oil, which is a resource located in Texas as well in other parts of the world.
"...and then one day he was shootin' at some food, and up from the ground came bubblin' crude. Oil that is: black gold, texas tea..."
by Chairman July 6, 2004
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Texas Toast

When a big fat man takes a shit on a woman's face and steps on it, and shouts TEXAS TOAST!
by MayoSalPhil September 8, 2009
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texas

-A very large state, indeed.
-Ask any child under eight there to draw the world and you will see them carefully outline the shape of texas.
Contains the #1 and #2 most overweight cities in America, statistically ofcourse. sounds good.
-In 2004, half of all death penalties in the U.S took place in Texas.
-Just because the people of Texas are mainly responsible for George Bush's rise to the presidency, doesn't mean they are all like he is. However, Texas is a portion of the "Bible Belt" and is therefore overwhelmed by very conservative, religious, ignorant and change-averse people.
-Minorities, Liberals, and above all, Homosexuals beware of Texas.
-The majority of ALL U.S. hate-crimes are committed here.
-This does not apply to every person in Texas. However, take amoment and check out the posts made by its very own residents. I'd say it's applicable to most of them, as well as many people you meet from Texas.
-Texas truly deserves to be it's own country.
-Wait for the ignorant, bad-grammar, homophobic, lengthy, vulgar responses to this post-variations of the word "FAGGOT" are likely to be used. Watch how quickly and blindly these people stand up and fight for a their home state, with no factual evidence or support. Soon, some will recognize the validity of this definition.
by Dan Gleasac July 16, 2008
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texas

my home sweet home its some fine ass niggaz hurr im from dat h-town fuck oklahama texas is crunk
sandy cheeks is texas tough
howdy yall im from texas wanna help me pick some cotton?
by texas gal April 6, 2004
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Texas Barber's Pole

While engaging in doggy style sex with your partner, using a pair of scisiors or buzz cutter you try to remove as much of their hair as possible without them becoming aware.
Your partner has a bad hair cut so give them the Texas Barber's Pole. Your the barber and they ride your pole.
by Trevor Gould September 30, 2006
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Texas Funeral

A celebration where two men bury Uma Thurman alive. Uma Thurman then proceeds to punch her way out of the wooden casket using techniques she learned from an old asian kung-fu master. Afterwards she goes and tears a chicks eyeball out during a swordfight.
"Dude, yesterday me and this other guy had a Texas Funeral."
"Really? Is Uma Thurman hot in person?"
"...kinda."
by Itsfromkillbillguys April 18, 2010
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