Jesus Phone

The iphone by apple. A phone that makes you feel like Jesus. In fact Jesus probably has one himself.

Rick: HOLY SHIT I GOT A JESUS PHONE!!!

by Burkus December 19, 2008

jesus juice

Yeah very funny. It's a terrible wine. They just call it that to make it sound glamorous or something. And the food stinks. Usually, this junk, you know? Even if you like to eat, you couldn’t eat it.

Yeah but sometimes, you see, it’s not that easy, you know what I mean? It's not all the cupcakes and Jesus juice like you might assume.

by The Zug October 3, 2007

Jesus Chatline

A religious chat line run by two pastors, Richard Burnish and Steven Chilton. It is commonly trolled by channel 4 users and people who have nothing else to do, like the reader who looked this definition up.

Bob: Hey, whats that religious streaming service called?

Mike: Oh, Jesus Chatline!

by Dank Tellituby May 13, 2017

Jesus

My mexican gardener, he does a great job

Me: Jesus, you did a great job on the tulips yesterday!

Jesus: Gracias!

by Anastacia Beverhausen October 10, 2005

Jesus loves you

Common word in beggers language.
Best used with phrase "God bleess you" with or without "...and have a nice day!"
JC!OMG!

"Spare a coin?"
-"Go away!"
"Jesus loves you!"

by Helter Skelter January 5, 2005

black jesus

Something that white people hate and can not admit since the real Jesus was black.

White Person: Jesus was black? NO WAY! TIME FOR SUICIDE!

by bebo January 10, 2005

jesuspie

A fictional pastry used to illustrate a persons inability to understand and discuss theology through any angle, especially in the academic world.

Would you like a piece of jesuspie? You unbelievably opinionless, both mentally and verbally challenged timewaster.

by Aelgfan. March 17, 2007