Golf Pencil

A very small penis. So small that it cannot even be felt in the vagina.

1. Her pussy's so wide its like a golf pencil in a mine shaft
2. It was so small it was like a golf pencil, I couldn't even feel it!

by Andy Lamberson October 12, 2005

golf

To do very poorly on something. A substitute for to bomb.

Man, i totally golfed that test.

by Danny M January 27, 2005

Golf

A fucked up game, designed by assholes to make schmucks get mad as hell and break their clubs and curse loudly. The only redeeming quality of the game of golf is that it provides a good excuse to ride around in a golf cart in beautiful places, wear funny shoes, smoke cigars, and consume large quantities of alcohol.
I played golf last week; I lost 25 balls, broke 6 clubs, and got kicked off the course, but not before I enjoyed a nice Honduran cigar and drank 17 Yuenglings.

Golf it the most incredible sport today.

by august22 December 11, 2016

glof

1. A muffin
2. A muffin with anthropomorphic features
3. Half-human, half-muffin

1. Hungry? You want a glof?

2. Man, look, a glof! Is he talking to us?

3. That fat kid looks like a real glof.

by Edgar Pruviance May 28, 2009

Golf

A "sport" often played by non athletic boys who play it to call themselves athletes, and crotchety old men who are trying to escape their dead end marriages. These men often play in foursomes while drinking beer and spend 30 minutes on each hole and keep everyone else from having fun as they chop the ball around and will not let anyone play through.

Bill played golf because he got tired of beating up his wife and wanted to go get wasted and piss people off at the local country club. even though he sucks at golf, he acts like he owns the place.

by IMMA MAN December 21, 2009

Golf

Golf is synonymous with the word sleep. Playing golf is boring and thus induces someone to fall to sleep.

"Hey Monica what's Helen doing?"
"She's playing golf. She has school tomorrow"

by AzuAdamMikel January 19, 2009

scratch golfer

A golfer that averages even par or better during a regulation round of golf WITHOUT cheating. A feat Tiger Woods accomplished as a young boy.

Garrett: "Did you hear that Matt shot a 68 in his tournament today?"
Gene: "Yea, he has shot under par in every tournament this season. He must be a scratch golfer."

by Matt Wortsman May 19, 2008