Conservative 

Old definition: One who wishes to preserve old evils as opposed to a liberal who clamors for new ones.

New definition: Someone who believes in ultra-fascist government where a single leader makes all decisions and is unquestionable, combined with a radical upward redistribution of income and cruelty for the fun of it; as opposed to a liberal who wants to dismantle the military, trust terrorists not to hurt us, and eat the rich. One of two classes of fuckwit in this country.

How dare you attack the integrity of the president in front of me, I'm a conservative you know.

Conservative by Sam is a Dick April 25, 2007

conservative 

Someone who believes in the principles of limited government, sound classical economic policy, and/or federalism. See founding fathers. Except Jefferson. Screw Jefferson. DO NOT SEE Neoconservative, i.e. who believes in the principles of a socially active federal government that avoids any discussion of economic theory.

I may be a conservative, but don't hold it against me, its only because I have read an economic textbook before.

Jefferson sucks.

Liberal: Don't elect him, he's a social facist!
Conservative: That may be true, but what does that have to do with me being a politician?

conservative by REAGAN LIVES March 6, 2009

Conservative 

A lowly creature that seeks to be relevant in mordern times, someone whos only platform should be the circus.

Normal person: whats a conservative?
Normal person 2: oh you know obe of thise cretin always jabbering "Gawd, gunz n cuntry..hyuk hyuk" (insert banjo tune)

Conservative by I'm superior to you November 30, 2021

Conservative 

The normal political party.

“Conservative” a rational person that doesn’t have his head up his own ass

Conservative by Taytertott February 23, 2021

conservative 

one of face of a trick nickel

"isn't it frustrating when liberals go too far and conservatives are just clueless?"

conservative by DisneylanDachau April 13, 2007

conservative 

A general-purpose word for placing one's scumbaggery beyond criticism.

"I think we should just blow the whole Middle East up with nukes and build a theme park in place of Israel/Palestine."

"Wow, you're a total piece of shit."

"Oh, so just because I'm a conservative you're calling me a piece of shit? Learn to be tolerate other political ideologies you liberal fascist."

conservative by Aunt Tifa Lockhart May 21, 2018

Conservative 

A collection of people who are self centred to such an extreme amount that the thought of equality or rights for anyone other than their largely white and upper middle class brethren is a thought so terrifying that they will use all their power to ensure that nothing ever changes.

They will actively fight anything which doesn’t either make them money or give them tax cuts. The concept of the status quo changing in anyway is unacceptable to these people.

“Gays rights and the environment and black people being killed by cops isn’t my problem. I’m a conservative, let me show you my portfolio”

Conservative by Mad Bank June 14, 2021