crunchy sock

Just what it sounds like. A sock that is crunchy. There are typically three causes of a crunchy sock. They are as follows:

1. Crystallization of nut juice from using the sock in a naughty fashion.
2. Old sweat that crystallized because you wore the same pair of socks for two weeks.
3. Running in mud in just your socks like some sort of hooligan.

Crunchy socks are probably currency in Haiti or some shit I don't know.

Mom: "Hurry up, you're going to be late!"
You: "Hold on mom. I'm trying to find socks that aren't crunchy!"

Troll: "I'm going to savor your bone marrow, little creature."
You: *holds up a crunchy sock* "Wait. In return for my life."
Troll: *thinks for a second* "I accept your bargain."

by KrustyKreatorofKaos February 24, 2019

sock orphanage

The container or receptacle used to store all the socks that become orphaned when their mates mysteriously disappear during the laundry cycle.

Jerry was able to "adopt" 21 pairs of socks during his year-end clean up of his sock orphanage. The remaining orphaned socks were euthanized.

by Sock Man December 27, 2009

Sock Gnomes

Sock gnomes are an ancient folk who hail from Germany. They sneak into people’s houses and steal their socks. Only the left ones though. The purpose of this is to wear them as hats. Its very necessary to their survival. Other common names for them are as follows; hat people, helmet folk, hut luete, and sockenzwerg. They refer to themselves as hat people because socks don’t exist to them. The big people are the crazy stupid giants. When the big peole come, the sock gnomes riot. Their weapon of choice is the pitchfork which they ise to stab people right in between the leg bone and the knee cap. This will bring their enemies to their knees, but not for long because of the excruciating pain. Then they fall on their faces and the sock gnomes tie them down with little pieces of string. The sock gnomes are also brilliant engineers. They actually invented the leg warmer, the back massager, cheez itz, tom holland, and the tenor saxaphone. In sock gnome legend, there is a messaih who will come wearing 100% wool socks on their head that are also waterproof. This person is destined to be ruler of all sock gnomes. Sock gnomes to this day hold a bitter grudge against the big people because of the rednpointy hatted stereotype they have created.

Sock gnomes commonly enjoy chartreuse colored hats.

by Bobthelobster March 6, 2022

Tijuana sock-warmer

The act of putting Tabasco or other hot sauce on a condom before engaging in intercourse. Note that this applies to the OUTSIDE of the prophylactic, as the application of a spicy liquid to the inside would technically be considered a Guadalajara Hot Pocket

Several hours after being Tijuana sock-warmered, he made the mistake of ingesting a laxative - a mistake he will not soon forget.

by ubermonk December 19, 2010

magic sock

A sock you use for cum while master-bating.

"Why do guys call it a magic sock"
"You would call it magic too if you shot your cum on your chest."

by Joel Alan Penless December 23, 2013

Droopy Sock

A condom that won't stay skin tight against a turgid male phalus due to a lack of penile girth. In the case of a droopy sock, penile length is meaningless and the condom sags down the shaft like an old sock with the elastic worn out.

While Carl was blessed with inches, he was not blessed with girth. His pencil dick was unable to support condom use as it always turned into a droopy sock.

by Eaton Holgoode January 13, 2016

Drop a sock

When somebody is in such a hurry that they might literally "drop a sock".

I'm only here for a minute, I'm about to drop a sock.

by "Drop a sock" March 21, 2017