They are the most sinister birds. You know loose threads on you favorite t shirt? Purple kiwis. You know all the random and probably unnessesary dials in micrwaves, dishwashers, washing machines, ovens, and other assorted appliances? Purple kiwis. You know when plastic bottles seem really hard to open because your hand keeps slipping? Purple kiwis grease them up. You know when the toilet seat is unreasonably cold? Purple kiwis. You know when the tiolet seat is unnervingly warm? Purple kiwis. You know when the drawstrings to your sweatshirt get pulled too much on one end and it gets stuck inside the hood? Purple kiwis. You know those little plastic thingies that are used to attach tags to shirts that you should probably cut with scissors but your too lazy and when you try to pull it you just rip the tag off and the plastic thingy is still there and even though you could get scissors you decide to keep trying to pull it off but you cant because its too small and when you give up and just wear it, it is really itchy and you finally go and get scissors but you cant find any? Purple kiwis. You know autocorrect? You know that feeling when you have an itch but you cant find the exact place and you end up looking like a leper with all of your scratching? Purple kiwis. You know when bags of chips have a total of two and a half chips in them? Purpe kiwis. They may look cute when you see them, watch out. They are malicious creatures who crave suffering. They hail from Old Zealand.
by Bobthelobster March 07, 2022
THE CHICKEN…………..OF DEATH
El Gallo Del Muerte is an ancient being not unlike the lovecraftian eldritch horrors. He has a few powers that include immunity to death, instant insanity eyes, and fire balls. One glance from him will instantly disintegrate you to but a pile of dust. Sometimes however, he will completely turn you inside out. This is not any morenor less effective than disintegration but it does provide some variety for El Gallo Del Muerte. He can also set your head on fire. Despite this immense power, he has one weakness…
Waffles.
If given a freshly cooked waffle (he will only except homemade and eggo waffles) he will teleport away with his loot. In his place will he left an acod llama. Its quite simplistic, they spit acid.
El Gallo Del Muerte is an ancient being not unlike the lovecraftian eldritch horrors. He has a few powers that include immunity to death, instant insanity eyes, and fire balls. One glance from him will instantly disintegrate you to but a pile of dust. Sometimes however, he will completely turn you inside out. This is not any morenor less effective than disintegration but it does provide some variety for El Gallo Del Muerte. He can also set your head on fire. Despite this immense power, he has one weakness…
Waffles.
If given a freshly cooked waffle (he will only except homemade and eggo waffles) he will teleport away with his loot. In his place will he left an acod llama. Its quite simplistic, they spit acid.
by Bobthelobster May 07, 2022
The mild exchange of information between two or more people. The contents of the information is entirely comprised of facts all parties were already aware of. If there is an exchange of opinion it must be a shared opinion.
by Bobthelobster May 07, 2022
A fast paced sport where competitors must have the overall dexterity needed for pressing pants and mental and physical constitution necessary for extreme locations. Some location suggestions are large volcanos, the amazon rainforest, and the mariana trench. Clothing suggestions include Calvin Klein shirts, ties with beagles on them, and the super tight khakis you only get on for christmas dinner and other family gatherings.
by Bobthelobster March 16, 2022
Bob is a particullarly cannibalistic lobster. He enjoys long walks on the beach and butter. Should not be associated with any other marine animals with the name Bob.
by Bobthelobster March 07, 2022
The prince from Cinderella who has a massive foot fettish. He falls in love with a girl with glass slippers. Then he marches around the entire kingdom looking at every single girls’ foot. Until finally he finds the girl with the best feet.
by Bobthelobster May 07, 2022
A word hybrid of “confused” and “puzzled” meant to be used in times of ignorance but not total blissful unawerness. Should never be used to describe others, only oneself.
This worksheet makes me extremely confuzzled.
by Bobthelobster March 16, 2022