Stress Napkin

A piece of paper, napkin or otherwise, used to absorb a load of jizz that a man produces when jerking off to relieve stress.

This has been a crappy day at work. I'm going to grab some stress napkins, go to the bathroom, and have some alone time.

by knightsofsesquipedalia March 17, 2015

ass napkin

A napkin made from paper towels or sheets of toilet paper placed between your ass cheeks over your butt hole to decrease the chances of getting shit in your underwear.

I took a crap at work and couldn't wipe my ass very good so I placed an ass napkin inside the back of my underwear over my butt until I could get home later and wipe and clean properly.

by paulmor909 September 5, 2016

Pickle napkin

A napkin or cloth strategically placed on a plate or dish underneath pickles to block the flowing of juice from saturating another food.

I used a pickle napkin to stop the juice from flowing down the plate, getting my chip’s soggy.

by Chrissypoo9992 August 14, 2018

Bed Napkin

The top sheet of the bed. Can be used to wipe bodily fluids off of face after dining.

Honey, where’s the bed napkin so I can wipe the saliva/semen/pussyjuice/santorum off my chin. I’m a big mess! The last time I saw it, it was twisted around my ankles.

by Sad giraffe May 25, 2019

Dirty Napkins

Napkins you use to clean up after the act of masterbating

I saw Jake's dirty napkins last night after he got out the bathroom

by Dalton.Turner615 February 9, 2009

Schrödinger's Napkins

Suppose you're sitting down at a fancy table for lots of people to sit at, there's a napkin for each guest, and there's a napkin on your left and right, which one are you going to choose? The left napkin or the right? Well, it depends on which one the first person picks, if the first person picks the left napkin, everyone will have to pick the napkin on the left, the same goes for the right, but everyone have to choose the napkin on their right. The rules of this world are determined by that same principle of ‘right or left?’! In a Society like this table, a state of equilibrium, once one makes the first move, everyone must follow! In every era, this World has been operating by this napkin principle. And the one who ‘takes the napkin first’ must be someone who is respected by all. It’s not that anyone can fulfill this role… Those that are despotic or unworthy will be scorned. And those are the ‘losers’. In the case of this table, the ‘eldest’ or the ‘Master of the party’ will take the napkin first… Because everyone ‘respects’ those individuals.

Person1: So, basically, who ever use the napkin's principle, is the leader?

Person2: Yeah, it's like Schrödinger's napkins.

by Greasy_Lemon May 31, 2020

Ass Napkin

Toilet paper; also used as an insult.

You fucking ass napkin!

by {42}Ix June 8, 2003