Masturbation

The thing everybody does, but no one will admit to doing.

Also called

Jacking off
Beating the meat
etc.

Person 1: Do you masturbaste?

Person 2: Uh... no... of course not... do you?

Person 1: No... why would I do that... It's gross...

Person 2: Of course... masturbation is bad...

by Teh Sexinator May 3, 2009

manstruation

n. To become moody, bloated, and generally vaginal. only applicable to males.

v: -ing -ate -ated
archaic: manstrizzling

You can tell by his pissy attitude and bloody underwear that he's going through manstruation.

She went out with his best friend, so he's all manstruating and shit.

by Hanibal Sonderegger March 16, 2004

Madsturbation

The act of masturbating to vent anger. Usually practiced by teens who listen to Slipknot or Korn.

Madsturbation is widely frowned upon by the public, but it is a great way for weird kids to channel their hatred at their penises!

by Dillypoo November 3, 2009

emotional masturbation

v. 1. Making negative comment about oneself expecting a positive and opposite remark from another;

Jane "I'm fat" Dick "No you aren't"

by Ben Johnson October 4, 2004

manstruation

The days when your man friend/spouse/partner/coworker etc. acts like a total intolerable douchebag when he is otherwise decent.

'Manstruation is wreaking havoc on Bob. He just told me to f*ck myself after I asked him to wipe large chunks of Pop Tart off of his expense report.'

by Fishballs December 16, 2008

intellectual masturbation

Fascinating intellectual breakthroughs regarding reality, language, existence, knowledge, perception, or human behavior which are completely unprovable and utterly without use, and therefore of no real consequence to anyone. See also: philosophy

Etymology: the mental counterpart to masturbation; i.e. a process that is very pleasurable but hasn't accomplished anything at the end.

The Sapir-Whorf hypothesis states that language influences human thought, so that native speakers of different languages think about concepts in incommensurably distinct modes. Linguists and psychologists contend fiercely over the validity of this claim, oblivious to the fact that it is intellectual masturbation.

by samd12345 August 6, 2007

corporate masturbation

Any blatant and/or pointless flaunting or exhibition of a company's name (e.g. naming a sports arena after the owner), or ridiculously obvious product placement with the capitalistic intent of selling more of said product.

Ted Rogers' renaming of the SkyDome to the Rogers Centre was clearly an act of corporate masturbation.

by jasonisjericho June 1, 2006