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carpet farming

The act of looking for stray freebase cocaine rocks in one's carpet in a flailing attempt to get another hit.
Also applies to regular cocaine.
Ted smoked all his shit, was outta money, and ended up carpet farming some lint and dog dandruf.
by simon_magus September 28, 2003
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carpet monkey

One who sifts through threads of the carpet in hopes of finding a small amount of cocaine.
When we ran out of coke danny became a carpet monkey.
by P LOS May 24, 2006
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Does the carpet match the drapes

One's pubic hair matching the hair on their head.

Often used to find out natural hair color.

In a sentence: "Does the carpet match the drapes?"
Me: Girl you know what I found out the other day?!

Friend: What?

Me: Britney Spears IS a natural blonde!

Friend: Does the carpet match the drapes?

Me: YEEEHH
by Gigi1000 December 30, 2010
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crapetarian

A person who lives on a diet of mostly junk food. Their diet includes ice cream, cookies, diet soft drinks, and candy bars; it excludes poultry, meat, and fish, but some crapetarians eat dairy {lactocrapetarians}, eggs {ovocrapetarians} or both {ovolactocrapetarians}. Motivations include, but are not limited to ethics, parental defiance, garbology and health.
Hope tried to convert me into a vegetarian but she is really a crapetarian. We had pizza, ice cream, chips and soda for lunch.
by Hoover Kidd June 25, 2010
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carpet comber

someone who smokes crack (or other drugs like peices of weed, pills) and after it's all gone they get on the floor and dig through the carpet to find little crack rocks. Also combin the carpet.
Man, look at the damn carpet comber on his hands and knees.
by caitlin February 20, 2005
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Carpet Carcass

the skeletal remains founder under shit in a hoarder's house.
Dude, Did you see hoarders last night? There were four carpet carcasses in that bitch's house, yo.
by Fish & Food Bowl August 13, 2011
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Crapendipity

When things that would otherwise be good happen at the crappiest possible time.
Winning free bacon for life after finding out you have a heart condition is crapendipity.
by mrwill26 September 1, 2013
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