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picking nuts out of monkey shit

Making a big deal out of something so meaningless. Usually done in order to save a few dollars and/or headaches, but disregarding the big picture.
Jon: "My customer wants this specific package installed on the vehicle he's buying."

Larry(company owner): Well we can just put on the aftermarket package instead. It's basically the same and it will cost us less."

Jon: "But I already told him we'd get the original factory parts installed. Those are what he looked at, and what we already quoted."

Larry: "I don't care, business is slow and this is what we'll do for your customer!"

Jon: "Quit picking nuts out of monkey shit you douchebag! I quit!"
by JHop March 12, 2008
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monkey bollocks

Hey you shouldnt watch TV in the bath, monkey bollocks.
by DomDog October 3, 2003
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Monkey Kill

Monkey Kill - verb - To kill a person in the manner that a monkey/chimpanzee would kill a person; i.e. ripping a face off, biting off digits, and removing a person's genitalia forcibly and in a most rude manner, and then throwing feces on the victim.
That guy who found his daughter naked in the pervert's living-room should have monkey killed that son of a bitch on the spot.
by Dougie Dougster August 20, 2011
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guff monkey

You stink, you filthy little guff monkey
by pantsonhead December 23, 2002
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marketing monkey

Someone who feels the need to recite a companies marketing as if it was the truth with out even stopping to think about what it even means.
Douchebag: "Mac OS X is better than windoez because it is POSIX certified because the Apple product page told me so."
Someone in IT: "Do you even know what POSIX stands for?"
Douchebag: "Erm... No... But it means your computer is secure, right?"
Someone in IT: "You do know that Windows has been POSIX certified since 2000, right?"
Douchebag: "Uh..."
Someone in IT: "Dude, you're such a marketing monkey... Spend less time on 'imasturbatetomymac.com' and more time reading about real computers."
by Someone in IT January 6, 2008
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not-monkey

Jack-speak for ape.

Comes from an excellent piece of slash fiction called "Dr. Jackson's Diary" that is loosely based on the hit sci-fi series "Stargate SG-1." Although no longer available on the net, it is possible to find this gem if you know who to ask, as it still has a small cult following.

As suggested by the title, this piece of fanfiction is written from the point of view of Dr. Daniel Jackson, an archaeologist and linguist working in the top-secret Stargate Program which is operated out of Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado Springs Colorado. The diary chronicles and entire year's worth of missions, misadventures, and madness.

This fic is generally accepted as rated NC-17 for language and content...read at your own risk.
Quoting from "Dr. Jackson's Diary" 'May: Planet of the Not-Monkey' by Anais:

"Hey, hey--" Jack said, wiping his eye for the forty eighth time. "NOTHING on the MALP reports suggested we were being sent to the planet of the--" he paused. I mouthed the word APES and he added. "--not-monkeys."

We'd already established they were not-monkeys in the locker room, Jack scouring himself under the shower and cursing. "Fuckin' filthy fuckin' disgusting fuckin' monkeys!"

And my stock response; "They're not monkeys, Jack. They're apes."

Hence Not-Monkeys has just become Jackspeak for 'apes'.
by Skaara January 23, 2008
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