monkeyboner

monkeyboner is the kind of boner you get thats curved and shaped like a bannana

yo get dat monkeyboner out of mah pussy its to curved and hurts like a motherfucker

by jesusfuckersihatepussycauseimg January 6, 2010

monkey hustle

A situation in which the people involved yank your chain to create the illusion that progress is happening even though it isn't. A subtle smoke screen meant to confuse you.

It is a method often used by politicians, customer service reps and anyone else who wants to make you believe something is true.

Imagine a group of monkeys dancing or moving about to give the impression that they are working hard when, in fact, they aren't. Dancing monkeys are meant to distract you so that you take your eye off the ball.

1) Customer service is giving me the monkey hustle. I called for assistance with my bill. I spoke with three representatives, giving the same information, they say hold please then pass me to the next rep.

2) The confusion surrounding the pastor who wants to burn a holy book has officially become a monkey hustle.

3) This website is giving me the monkey hustle. Every time I click on a link it opens a new window directing me away from the information that I'm looking for.

by voodoo chile September 16, 2010

Purple Monkey Finger

Moonshine from Dargaville. Dargaville where most of New zealands Kumara or sweet potatoes are grown. The locals make the best moonshine out of these purple turd looking things.
Purple Monkey Finger will kick your ass, a lot.

No officer i only had one Purple Monkey Finger, what do you mean i cant drive.

by Day Tripper. November 14, 2010

Gooch Monkey

1. (Noun) An individual with a fetish for gooches

2. (Noun) An individual who has had someone's hairy gooch rubbed all over their face, creating a hairy monkey-like appearance

1. "Did you see that guy staring at my Gooch?!?!"
"Yeah! He must have been a Gooch Monkey!!!"

2."That cheap hooker was a Gooch Monkey after I was through with her."

by Gangstablu January 5, 2011

drunken monkey sex

Drunken monkey sex is when you pleasure your partner so incredibly well that when done he/she walks as if they were indeed a drunk monkey.

Wow, Chad fucked me so good last night that I felt like i had drunken monkey sex!

by istitch October 28, 2017

picking nuts out of monkey shit

Making a big deal out of something so meaningless. Usually done in order to save a few dollars and/or headaches, but disregarding the big picture.

Jon: "My customer wants this specific package installed on the vehicle he's buying."

Larry(company owner): Well we can just put on the aftermarket package instead. It's basically the same and it will cost us less."

Jon: "But I already told him we'd get the original factory parts installed. Those are what he looked at, and what we already quoted."

Larry: "I don't care, business is slow and this is what we'll do for your customer!"

Jon: "Quit picking nuts out of monkey shit you douchebag! I quit!"

by JHop March 12, 2008

monkey bollocks

A silly silly person

Hey you shouldnt watch TV in the bath, monkey bollocks.

by DomDog October 3, 2003