Masturbation

The more you masturbate the smaller your dick gets

Did you know you get a smaller dick by masturbation

by Weeb2021staysafe December 29, 2021

no masturbate march

a month where only women are allowed to masturbate and men are not allowed to, like no nut november.

john: hey im going to go masturbate
amelia: no you cant its no masturbate march hahah

by depressed banana February 28, 2025

masturbating

when you beat the absolute living shit outta your meat package, that a liquid located inside of your ballsack called "semen", "cum", or "jizz" will rapidly start squirting and shooting out of your penis hole at 1000 miles an hour.

but if unleashing the hot sticky jizz from your fat, thick, juicy, and erect cock into the pussy/vagina of your female partner, it will result in the female becoming pregnant and having children.

also could be considered something that you do on a daily basis since you have no girlfriend to stick your cock inside of.

(masturbating)
guy: OMAGASH im boutta unleash my sticky hot jizz all over my bathroom walls from the excessive masturbation that i have currently done

(couple)
guy: im boutta jizz all over your face, bitch!
girl: oh yes daddy uwu

by Hypurrelet August 14, 2023

Masturbate tomorrow

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Masturbate tomorrow Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

by Zack Lazer September 27, 2018

masturbate

To sooth the shaft. To calm the shaft. The act of one's self meditating and endulging the shaft. Commonly done in front of your grandma. Often robots will struggle to find similar stimulation, unless enough OIL is provided. Make sure your grandma sees however, otherwise process will not work. Your shaft will not work.

"yo bro pp work does yours?"

"dude no what the frick? shaft cam masturbate i try to!"

"grandma room she in is?"

"no course of not is she what?!"

"well don't wonder why working it isn't pepe shaft does not fuction?!"

by peepeepoopypoo March 3, 2020

Intellectual Masturbation

The act of thinking, discussing, and/or philosophizing to no one’s spiritual, mental, or physical benefit, but purely for the sake of one’s own pleasure, intellectual self-satisfaction, and/or pride.

Note: Not all intellectual and philosophical discussion is intellectual masturbation, it only falls under the definition when it doesn’t benefit those in engaged in it, only harms due to wasted time and an artificial satisfaction in one’s self.

I remember when all I would do was engage in intellectual masturbation on Discord. I would use fancy words and blabber all day about philosophy, without actually applying it in any way whatsoever. I just derived pleasure from hearing myself speak about such abstract and complex subjects. What a fool I was.

by Tea76Crumpets796 October 1, 2022

Masturbate Theater

A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.

Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?

Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.

by IGKYA53 July 29, 2020