Wank Zone

The sacred time of disciplined commitment to ones self pleasure. This period is measured from the moment you initiate masturbation to the point ejaculation is complete and the jizz is disposed of.

The duration of the Wank zone varies from wank to wank due to a variety of contributing factors. However, studies of urban dictionary user's browser history and the average refractory period have estimated that this time can be anywhere from 90 seconds to 2 hours and 11mins.

Stimuli available at initiation and the proximity of either your spouse, children, co-workers or any other phenomenon can effect the duration and location you choose to enter the Wank zone.

Two popular strategies include the Top Deck and Clean and Jerk. Both can be performed hastily and efficiently in a bathroom under the cover of another activity. Typically, your device is positioned with a restricted viewing angle in case of detection (don't forget the mirror), volume down, blu tooth off and the exhaust fan on to enable more volume. Then stream your selected pornography (cumshot compilation or anal cum swappers are recommended) and enjoy being in the Wank zone!

Boris was fully established in the wank zone flogging himself silly when we barged through the door! Fuck it was funny! He said he was "just relaxing" as he extended his hand for an awkward introduction...John saw Boris's phone and was certain the female porn actress was urinating!

by LFBG2FG January 6, 2020

wank-rolling

The out-of-game act of rolling dice to resolve the abilities of your RPG character in imagined hypothetical scenarios. Poor rolls are disregarded as “that wouldn’t” happen, while good rolls grant a fleeting feeling of success. The act inevitably leaves one tapped out and unsatisfied.

Also applies to “testing” your Smashammer Space Marine Captain vs. any number of Xenos elite units.

“After my Wizard learned Fireball, I spent the whole week-end wank-rolling him wiping out orc lairs! I’m so pumped for tonight’s game, I could cast a Fireball RIGHT NOW!”

by Vague Wisdom January 25, 2019

global wanking

Our esteemed new President is denouncing global warning and will be completely screwing the planet, reversing any progress made to date on addressing Global Warming, climate change while building walls to keep the bad hombres out.

Rich: I need to get more sunscreen.
Tom: Why?
Rich: Brace yourself, President Trump is gearing up for a very big (or if the hands are any indicator, tiny) round of Global Wanking, pissing on our allies and accelerating climate change and global warming!

by JFed January 29, 2017

bags wank

When a girl who’s got bags under her eyes, wraps her bags around your cock and then wanks you off.

Pretty self explanatory Teddy

“I’m gonna give him a bags wank tonight, a nice surprise.”

by K-nicks October 21, 2019

Weird wank

The art of masturbation outside normal characteristics most would see as normal

Did you know danial like to weird wank. He does it over the sink but also uses tissue

by Havince September 7, 2020

Wank the Shank

When you accidentally spill a beverage on your cutlery.

Person 1: Argh im so dRuNk
Person 2: Make sure not to wank the shank, you”ll be the person cleaning it up.

by Rianon May 6, 2018

Uncomfortable Wank

The act of dropping a deuce while jerking the power ranger. Although this act is deemed a scientific anomaly, some men derive extreme pleasure from evacuating their bowls and testies simultaneously.

Dave screamed in morose pleasure as he completed an uncomfortable wank at the local Burger King

by ATM spajshj September 14, 2019