Jamaican Wank

When a man (or woman) engages in masturbation whilst using tobasco or some other form of spiced sauce as a lubricant.

"Damn dude, my dicks on fire today"

"Why, what happened?"

"Used to much sauce whilst having a Jamaican Wank this morning!"

by Two Spoon Destroyer August 21, 2020

Uncomfortable Wank

The act of dropping a deuce while jerking the power ranger. Although this act is deemed a scientific anomaly, some men derive extreme pleasure from evacuating their bowls and testies simultaneously.

Dave screamed in morose pleasure as he completed an uncomfortable wank at the local Burger King

by ATM spajshj September 14, 2019

Wank the Shank

When you accidentally spill a beverage on your cutlery.

Person 1: Argh im so dRuNk
Person 2: Make sure not to wank the shank, you”ll be the person cleaning it up.

by Rianon May 6, 2018

cosmic wank

The process of masturbation when high

“I had a cosmic wank last night’”

by Claret123 November 25, 2017

Wank Cabbage

A way to refer to a complete and utter numskull. Has the abbreviation WC.

Boy: I shot the Sherrif.
Boy's friend: You absolute wank cabbage! Now the deputy will be after us. Twat.

by finalerock44 January 11, 2021

global wanking

Our esteemed new President is denouncing global warning and will be completely screwing the planet, reversing any progress made to date on addressing Global Warming, climate change while building walls to keep the bad hombres out.

Rich: I need to get more sunscreen.
Tom: Why?
Rich: Brace yourself, President Trump is gearing up for a very big (or if the hands are any indicator, tiny) round of Global Wanking, pissing on our allies and accelerating climate change and global warming!

by JFed January 29, 2017

wank-rolling

The out-of-game act of rolling dice to resolve the abilities of your RPG character in imagined hypothetical scenarios. Poor rolls are disregarded as “that wouldn’t” happen, while good rolls grant a fleeting feeling of success. The act inevitably leaves one tapped out and unsatisfied.

Also applies to “testing” your Smashammer Space Marine Captain vs. any number of Xenos elite units.

“After my Wizard learned Fireball, I spent the whole week-end wank-rolling him wiping out orc lairs! I’m so pumped for tonight’s game, I could cast a Fireball RIGHT NOW!”

by Vague Wisdom January 25, 2019