masturbated

fucking yourself

i masturbated yesterday and I came so much

by cummer5000 May 22, 2023

To Masturbate

An attempt to pointlessly satisfy an irrational urge in the short term.

(where in the long term on further reflection you realise it to be truly unsatisfactory)

"Sometimes I try to masturbate a really long or difficult word into a sentence just to feel I'm smarter than I actually am!"

by anonymous January 14, 2021

Canadian Masturbation

Masturbation but Canadian, much like Balkan rage.

Guy 1: "Yo Eric just did Canadian Masturbation!!!"
Guy 2: "Oh yeah, he's from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, right?"
Guy 3: "That's why its Canadian masturbation and not normal masturbation!"

by Jonathan Werd December 23, 2024

Scottish masturbating

A combination of having an orgasm, taking a shit and puking at the same time.

''Dude, after masturbating on a Scottish way it takes a huge amount of time to clean it up.''
- ''Yeah man, that's the disadvantage of Scottish masturbating!''

by idgafosoae April 12, 2017

Masturbate

Let’s face it. You’re in the 6th or 7th grade and you were asked during truth or dare if you masturbate and decided to look it up on Urban Dictionary to save yourself the embarrassment of not knowing what it means. Well here’s the definition: “To stimulate the genitals for a jolt of pleasure (orgasm).”

Friend one: Truth or Dare
Friend two: Truth
Friend one: Do you masturbate?
Friend two: Yes
Friend one: Lol that’s so weird
Friend two: *Looks it up on Urban Dictionary that night to save themselves to embarrassment of not knowing what it means*

by You don’t know me irl lol May 7, 2022

masturbate

To sooth the shaft. To calm the shaft. The act of one's self meditating and endulging the shaft. Commonly done in front of your grandma. Often robots will struggle to find similar stimulation, unless enough OIL is provided. Make sure your grandma sees however, otherwise process will not work. Your shaft will not work.

"yo bro pp work does yours?"

"dude no what the frick? shaft cam masturbate i try to!"

"grandma room she in is?"

"no course of not is she what?!"

"well don't wonder why working it isn't pepe shaft does not fuction?!"

by peepeepoopypoo March 3, 2020

Masturbate

When you Stroke your Dick until you reach a orgasm and bust everywhere.

Micheal:yo bro don’t open my door Im masturbate In here.
Jayden: Okay bro do your thing don’t use all the lotion btw.

by Orly$anchez4lifebitch February 3, 2024