shit floats

The opposite of "The cream rises". A saying used to denote that people in positions of power often got where they are through corruption and do not deserve the advantages they have

Tom: I got promoted again, the cream rises!
Tony: No dude, shit floats.

by D Flawless October 16, 2020

shit hydrant

Adjective - a bad situation that is becoming worse

Example: "Not only did I get fired but my wife left me. This day has been a total shit hydrant."

by Ryo-FFXIV November 11, 2013

freebird shit

When a shit lasts so long that you are able to listen to the entire song by Lynyrd Skynyrd while on the toilet.

After that Mexican last night, I had to take one hell of a freebird shit.

by funnythatsmyname October 28, 2010

Cig Shit

The Urge to take a shit during or after the smoking of a cigarette.

Dude, I just took the biggest cig shit of my life!

by Fletch703 February 4, 2010

Macgyver Shit

After taking a mean shit, an act of desperation, usually by the lazy, using a piece of clothing (your roommate's socks, a t-shirt, a bath towel etc.) to wipe your dirty ass after realizing you have absolutely no paper products whatsoever in your house.

Roommate Kevin : "Dude, where are all my socks & towels? I had a ton!"

Fat Jack: "Man, I gotta confession to make. I've been too lazy to buy TP, so I've been wiping my ass clean with your socks & towels & then throwing them away."

Roommate Kevin: "Please tell me you're fucking joking, you lazy fat fuck! Why don't you use your own socks when you Macgyver Shit?!"

by Urban_Baby_101 January 27, 2014

Shit Witch

A shit witch is a girl that is cute, rich, and popular but behaves in the most ugly of manners. Shit witches are tasked by the Devil with making the world a much worse place.

Wendy is a shit witch, dude. It's just the way it is.

by Jacques Asse June 4, 2009

shitting on the cock

"shitting on the cock" means you disappointed someone by failing to fulfill the hopes they had for you. It is usually used between friends to make fun of each other.

it comes from the brazilian expression "cagar no pau".

-"I spent the whole night wingmaning for my friend Matt "Semen" and had to entertain his crush's friend for hours and he still lost her to a random guy in the club... I'm tired of him always shitting on the cock like that"
-"I know... I've grown used to it by now"

by djonikinghand May 5, 2019