You have two assholes

An expression that came about in Springfield, Illinois when a kid shouted at his friend, "You have two assholes!"

This expression is believed to show anger towards a friend, an enemy, or somebody you're just mad at.

Kid 1: You suck at Halo 3.
Kid 2: Well, you have two assholes!

by The Crazy June 25, 2009

I have to go now. My planet needs me.

What you say when you need to get out of an awkward situation, fast.

- Hey guys, what are you up to?
- Oh not much, just about to watch 2 girls 1 cup again. The cinematography is exquisite!
- I have to go now. My planet needs me. *walks away*

by UrbanPrick July 9, 2012

Blondes Have More Fun-gus Burger

From Bob's Burgers: a special mushroom burger

"Hey Bob, what's the burger of the day?" "It's the Blondes Have More Fun-gus Burger, you should try it!"

by America Lover 🇺🇸 November 20, 2018

god is dead and we have killed him

Yeah... Aye there's no denying it.

Ok, Furry's exist, God is dead and we have killed him

by SumRandoDud December 6, 2018

have one's ticket punched

To be killed, or otherwise gotten rid of. From the practice of punching a hole in a ticket in order to cancel it.

Trotsky became a liability, so Stalin had his ticket punched.

It's a raw deal to have one's ticket punched the day before Christmas.

by Annabellastasia April 18, 2011

have a blessed day

Sometimes it face-value means, "I wish you a nice/ pleasant/ fortunate day". Sometimes it means "I'm done talking to you now". Sometimes it means, I work two jobs, I'm tired, leave me alone.

-Your total is $7.82.
-Here's a $10. Nice weather huh?
-Your change is $2.18. Yeah, much nicer than yesterday.
-I know that's right! OK, have a blessed day, baby.
-Gang.

by yeah buddy 2020 April 20, 2022

I have to take my brother to baseball practice.

Very commonly used and inconspicuous excuse for getting out of pretty much anything. One can replace the word 'brother' with any relative that would make sense. Possible substitutes include but are not limited to:
Sister, Cousin, Nephew, Niece, etc.

(Guy 1) Hey Guy 2, wanna hang out?
(Guy 2) One sec... Nah, I have to take my brother to baseball practice.

(Guy 1) Hey Guy 2, wanna see a movie with some friends?
(Guy 2) Can't tonight, I have to take my brother to baseball practice.

(Guy 1) Hey Guy 2, wanna play some football today?
(Guy 2) Sorry man, I can't play today. I have to take my brother to baseball practice.

by the putman August 22, 2009