MVID (minimum viable intelligence disorder)

A psychological diagnosis that entails having enough intellegence to survive, but no more.

Sandra: Did you hear John cut his own toes off last week whilst mowing the lawn with no shoes on? Only a few days before that he told me that he cooks his food directly on the hob with no saucepan to save washing up. He's such a fool.

Ed: You need to be more sensitive about this. John was actually diagnosed with MVID (minimum viable intelligence disorder)

Sandra: Oh my god! I'm so sorry. I didn't know.

Ed: Don't worry, neither does John, the guys a fucking moron.

by Compersious June 25, 2019

disranged

a word that a crazy old beyotch from Kitchen Nightmares made up during the show aired on July 22, 2008. I think she actually meant to say disarranged.

Tom came back and was all disranged.

by finco nueva August 19, 2008

Progressive Porn Disorder

The anomoly that occurs after watching so much internet porn that naked chicks in magazines doesn't cut it anymore

Guy 1: Ay man I got the new Hustler

Guy 2: Can't, Im watching this epic gangbang

Guy 1: You need to see a psychiatrist about that Progressive Porn Disorder

by Hankgod November 22, 2011

distracted

being stoned; a way to describe being stoned to people that may not approve of marijuana use.

"you missed the turn, Bobby"
"sorry, i'm a little distracted..."

by nofxmikeb October 27, 2005

Dissociative Identity Disorder

An extremely misunderstood mental disorder where one believes they have other personalties (or alters) living inside their soul. This person will not have control of what these alters do and usually black out whenever their alters take control. These alters can be different ages, have different dominant sides, different posture, voices, etc.
People will develop this order from not knowing how to deal with abuse or suppressing too much emotion, usually, as a child.
**NOTE: What these people believe is happening in their head is what is happening in their head. They can't control what's happening and most people would get rid of the disorder if they more easily could.
AKA D.I.D.
Alters FUCK EVERYTHING UP FOR THOSE THAT HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS DISORDER. My ex has D.I.D. The beastly version of his own personality (not a legit alter) blocked his memory of me. He did this because I wouldn't have sex with him..well them..so yeah..pretty fucked up.
THIS DISORDER GENUINELY, TRULY SUCKS.

Dissociative identity disorder (D.I.D.) shows how much the sub-conscience is genuinely a bitch.

by D.I.D. SUCKS. December 23, 2012

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

the traumatic stress you feel between the moment you post something on the Internet and the moment somebody likes it or responds

so I post this hilarious pic of me playing air guitar and within 37 minutes I get no response. No likes, no comments. Nothing. So here I am staring blankly at my Facebook wall with a severe case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as I wait for somebody to like my hilarious new update

by Peter Greenwall March 11, 2013

Tony Abbott Delusional Disorder

What Is It? Tony Abbott Delusional disorder is classified as a psychotic disorder, a disorder where a person has trouble recognizing reality. A delusion is a false belief that is based on an incorrect interpretation of reality. Delusions, like all psychotic symptoms, can occur as part of many different psychiatric disorders. But the term delusional disorder is used when delusions are the most prominent symptom.

A person with this illness holds a false belief firmly, despite clear evidence or proof to the contrary.

The outlook varies. Although the disorder can go away after a short time, delusions also can persist for months or years. The inherent reluctance of a person with this disorder to accept treatment makes the prognosis worse. However, people with this disorder retain many areas of functioning, so some do reasonably well with limited assistance.

That poor man has "Tony Abbott Delusional Disorder", quick call the vet.

by draustralia September 10, 2015