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alberto

a certain individual, particulary of Mexican descent, who enjoys "borrowing" military/ government issued gear and selling it for his own profit. The certain items an Alberto prefers, cost anywhere from a few dollars to thousands of dollars. Generally an Alberto wont risk "borrowing" an item if the paper stacks ain't right(alot of money). An Alberto doesnt necessarily have to be in the military. He/she could acquire the item from a contact.
Jose: "Pablo, hey have you seen those brand new radios. Our Lieutenant is gonna go crazy when he hears about them!"

Pablo: "Yea S.A. those radios are tight homes. I am seriously thinking about Alberto'n em'. You think anybody will notice?

Jose: "Pablo! Are you kidding me homes?"

Pablo: "What homes? C'mon you know I'm Mexican. Its in my blood!"

Jose: True! I know I'm Mexican too. I dont mind of you pull a Alberto, just give me half. OK S.A.?
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Albert

A person who likes to hit printers.
I see an Albert at the printer!!!
by SmashStar April 15, 2009
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Alerig

Person who likes to smoke weed and get high all the time. Generally a Bob Marley fanatic, and gets scared shitless of everything when drunk. Real fun dude, but lazy as hell.
"Damn... I feel like an Alerig *cough cough*"
by TacSwitch November 20, 2011
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Prince Albert Fountainhead

The effect of expelled urine hitting, and therefore having its trajectory altered upon, contact with the portion of a Prince Albert genital piercing situated in close proximity to the exterior of the male urethral opening. Sometimes also resulting in a Keern, where the stream is separated into two individual streams, most often travelling in different directions.
Person1- "Why don't you ever use the urinal like the rest of us?"
Person 2- "Because I'll piss on you. My Prince Albert Fountainhead guarantees it."
by JayszunVanderwerff July 24, 2011
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Prince Albert

A Medusa on a penis. Most commonly on a chode to draw attention away from the fact that it's a freak of nature.
Girl: "Hey, wanna do it?"
Guy: "Sure. Let me take out my Prince Albert, first."
Girl: "Wtf, ew, is that a buttplug?"
Guy: "No, it's a Medusa on a penis!! Gosh, get with the program."
Girl: "Fine, you wanna be like that? No sexxy time tonight, betch!"
by Sam Chaves March 25, 2008
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albert patrick college

The story of Albert Patrick is most certainly one that belongs in the history books of every eighth grader in this great nation—not because it’s very important but because it perfectly encapsulates the true nature of America. It’s a story of crooked Jewish lawyers paying scumbag valets to poison the living shit out of rich white men. It’s a story of heavily racist trials and the crooked American judicial system that, at the same time, points out how American privilege can get you out of any sticky situation. It’s a story of a prestigious American university teetering in the balance between the forces of good, evil, and something in between.

Basically William Marsh Rice was this rich white guy who amassed a fortune (probably clubbing seals and black people with his famed pimp cane). Towards the end of his life he became so worthless and decrepit that his hooknosed lawyer, Albert Patrick, hatched a pretty awful scheme to make off with Rice’s fortune. The idea was to alter Rice’s will which, at the time, earmarked his entire estate to the creation of a educational institution in Houston, Texas, that would teach young white males to club seals and African Americans. Allegedly Patrick asked Rice’s valet to pull a Sixth Sense and poison Rice slowly and surely. The slowly and surely thing didn’t work out so the valet just sort of chloroformed Rice to death one night. Smooth move.

A trial ensued thanks to that meddling Captain James Baker. Basically, it was a slam-dunk trial against a Jew in early 1900’s New York, dooming Patrick from the start. It was also one of the most publicized trials of the century, up until the OJ Simpson case. Apparently, America loves ethnicities committing atrocities. AP got his parole opportunity several years later, got the charges against him dropped, after which he moved to the inland United States and—I’m not making this shit up—helped to found a church.

Fast forward and Rice University is now standing. There’s a residential college—Will Rice College—and there’s a new dorm section that actually points away from the main quad. We’re going to call that the 80’s and the 90’s These rooms are also known as Albert Patrick College, so I’m told but God knows whose idea that was. Traditionally these rooms “break off” from WRC at some point during the spring and throw a party.
Hey, there's a party at Albert Patrick College. Let's get drunk!
by DJ humble July 14, 2006
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Alberta Sequel

Screwing your wifes daughter of no relation.
Abe got an Alberta sequel when her mom went into town last friday.
by Chiefbigcanoe January 29, 2005
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