Oil, cows, and redneck politicians? But cold? Must be Alberta.
by Echelon August 24, 2005
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As close to being American as a Canadian can get.
What do you mean Cletus is from Alberta? I thought he was a Texan!
by Transuranic Arquebus January 23, 2019
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scenery wise, alberta looks like colordo, with the towering rockies in the west and flat plains in the east. edmonton and calgary are the 2 biggest cities, and they hate each other. alberta is the texas of canada. much more consevative than any other province, and sitting on oil riche$
by Provincial Mood December 14, 2007
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The Texas of Canada. Full of hard nosed blue collar conservatives that are rich in oil. The only province, territory, or state in North America that is so economically powerful it could be its own nation (and should be, just to be dicks to Quebec).

The number one past time of Albertans is working, when they aren't working they are usually getting drunk. This is due to there being absolutely nothing else to do in Alberta. Other provinces hate Alberta for its wealth and general arrogant attitude, but often sympathize with them afterwards when they realized what a mundane place it is to live in.
Albertan: (shouting) I'm Albertan bitch!

Guy #1: That guy is a dick! And I think he's drunk.

Guy #2: You would be drunk too if you had to live there.
by Tokey41 April 9, 2011
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(alˈbərtə) verb. To aggressively drive one's vehicle as if it had high clearance 4x4, regardless of the vehicle's said ability. Often includes taking three parking stalls. Termed after the driving habits of the eponymous Canadian province.
This road is not wide enough for a u-turn, watch me alberta it.
by Aaron is Rad August 27, 2013
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A place where everyone fucks you over.... and nothing goes your way... People say that the Alberta economy "used" to be good... that's because of the high turn over that results from all the wrongful dismissals/terminations by Alberta employers...

Calgary - Perfect place to die of a fentanyl overdose, get pegged with bullshit tickets by corrupt cops, get wrongfully dismissed from your job, get legally robbed in court by your ex wife or partner, or commit suicide cause Calgary, and pretty much all of Alberta, has absolutely fucking nothing going on in this dead ass hick town. Its a city for name's sake. Don't even try to bring up the Stampede cause that gets old real fast. Oh and forget about finding a good girlfriend to date here unless u driving high roller truck, and work in fort mac or on the Riggs. Cause that's exactly what the Albertan girls are all about. Its the Texas of Canada and basically, a frozen hell hole 8 months out of the year, and now that its economy is in the gutter, there is absolutely no reason to even live here. If ur really brave, try going north and live in Edmonton, which is practically a reserve. I wasted 20 years in this godforsaken hell hole. I hate you Alberta ! If you wanna move here, DON'T! unless you want to be miserable, and if you live here, MOVE!
In Calgary, Alberta, I worked for many companies, and when they let me go without cause, they didn't give me the money they owed me, so I had to sue. When I told people after it happened more than once, I was told this is normal in Alberta.

In Alberta, there is nothing to do, unless you're into drugs and alcohol, hence all the suicides, crime and overdoses.

I was driving through Alberta, and a cop pulled me over and gave me tickets for no reason. I was told he had to meet his "quota".

I parked my car in Edmonton, Alberta, for under a minute and when I returned, I found a ticket on my car. That's good old Alberta for you.

The girl to guy ratio is grossly disproportionate in Alberta, where guys greatly outnumber girls. This means that the ugliest chicks (like i'm talking swamp donkeys and sea monkeys) can afford to act choosy with guys.
by yuwannaknomynamefu August 13, 2018
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More exciting than Sask and Manitoba put together, the two biggest cities hate eachothers hockey teams. Edmonton has one of the biggest malls in the world (The biggest in North America) Like texas but cold as fuck in the winter (usually about 8 fucking months long) And Green and the perfect temperature for the other 4 months. Majority of the population hates the liberal party and would just love to Quebec and punch some french fuck in the face. Probably has more 50k Plus trucks on the road than anywhere else in the world. I kid you not there are more trucks & Suv's on the road than cars. Everyone has a little redneck in them. Calgary is home to The Stampede where a bunch of city folk dress up and pretend to be cowboys and cowgirls but fail and all the real farmers and cowboys laugh at them. Calgary has more knife killings per year than guns usually. Has a bunch of small towns that think there better than the cities and all the cities think there better than small town, but in all reality there all the same. Calgary has a complete fuck tard for a mayor and the council isn't any better. Some bitch on the counsil spent like 2 million dollars to make a c train station look better. No one gives a fuck about that shit! Everyone hates the C train.
Albertan At the Airport: Hey man Where you from?
Some guy: Ontario!
Albertan: Your a stupid fuck!
by Alberta901 August 5, 2010
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