Battenburg

A bizarre sexual practice found only in retirement homes. As nursing staff are generally unwilling to assist, participants must make imaginative use of the equipment in the disabled toilet.

TV researchers have dedicated a disproportionate amount of time to this activity, mysteriously without ever airing any of the results.

"Are you ready for a bit of Battenburg, Thora?"

"You're a filthy fucker Alan!"

"Yes I am, but that wasn't a 'no', was it..."

by Dr Filthperv October 4, 2012

Banterdactyl

A member of the banter kingdom.
A word used to describe the presence of banter flying in the room. Usually sighted when a group of people fire banter back and forth between themselves.

John : "My balls smell like Peter's mouth"
Mike : "How do you know what Peter's mouth smells of?"
John : "Like my balls"
Peter : (Laughing and trying to cough at the same time)
Sarah : "When you stroke a dog a certain way it makes that noise"
Mike : "There's a Banterdactyl in the room"

by Lsmudge September 5, 2011

monsieur bacteria

The opposite of Mr Beast - an evil genius who has a curly moustache, eats baguettes, cuts off your arms and legs, and steals $100000 dollars from people.

Person 1: Did you see that new monsieur bacteria video?
Person 2: YESS! He put down every dog in the pound

by dreamlovesyou_ September 15, 2020

Banter Clause

Legend has it that the gift of banter is handed down to unsuspecting trainee Banter Merchant's through a mysterious figure named Banter Clause. There has never been any convincing or sound historical evidence to support the myth as indeed true. But supposed sightings have occurred during many Banterful occassions such as lads on the pre lash and at the party which is full of muff and beer! This makes Banter Clause a worthy LAD!

John: 'Its the night before Friggies big party! I hope Banter Clause gives me a good supply of Banter for the LOL's that should ensue!'
Russell: 'Yeah! I've been a banterful chap this week! So I hope I'm in Banter Clause's good books!
John: 'OOO I'm sceptical mate, don't think you were enough of a banterful top lad when you were pulling that bird last night mate!'
Russell: ':('

by Banter Scribe November 17, 2010

master baiter

A well-skilled angler, gets a lot of slippery fish in hand when dipping their hook in shallow water.

Wow! did you see how many fish he caught? That guy sure is a master baiter!

by my best friend May 11, 2003

lash banter

the banter that comes hand in hand with a night on the lash. Some would say that the lash banter flows at the same rate as the beer, as more beer is drunk lash banter improves. lash banter is often harsh but can be used as an excuse for excessive tomfoolery.

Q:"do you remember trying to sleep with my girlfriend last night"
A:"It was just lash banter"

by shanterlope January 9, 2012

batten down the hatches

Nautical: secure a boat's hatch-tarpaulins, esp. when rough weather is expected.

Figurative: prepare for a difficult time or crisis, trouble is coming.

Oh ohh, batten down the hatches, here comes the tax collector.

by uvu November 19, 2007