God is the super-duper metaphysical Being who created the universe and all that is in it. He transcends time and space because He created it, hence physical specks like us can't see Him or fully comprehend Him.
God loves humanity, but gave humans a choice to love Him back. Mankind collectively rejected this offer when the universal representative (some dude called Adam) said 'no thanks bucko,' culminating in everything going to the dogs and the world plunging into turmoil and suffering, which was fair enough really.
Nevertheless, despite being rejected by His own creation, God sent His Son to earth as a random called Jesus, who died the death we were meant to die. If you are Jesus' friend and you bite the bullet, you can sneak past security with him at the pearly gates, but otherwise you're stuffed.
God loves humanity, but gave humans a choice to love Him back. Mankind collectively rejected this offer when the universal representative (some dude called Adam) said 'no thanks bucko,' culminating in everything going to the dogs and the world plunging into turmoil and suffering, which was fair enough really.
Nevertheless, despite being rejected by His own creation, God sent His Son to earth as a random called Jesus, who died the death we were meant to die. If you are Jesus' friend and you bite the bullet, you can sneak past security with him at the pearly gates, but otherwise you're stuffed.
by rocket_engineer February 26, 2008
What more people misunderstand than understand, fight over than not, strive for than not, create division than unite.
matt: but i read that god is this way and you are wrong
sharon: and god is this way and everyone else is wrong
wiseman: neither of you understands both books
sharon: and god is this way and everyone else is wrong
wiseman: neither of you understands both books
by ffddeerrrg August 26, 2009
(noun) An imaginary friend for grown ups; commonly touted as being a supreme being responsible for the creation and continued maintenance of the universe. The identity and characteristics ascribed to God vary according to established doctrine and religious alignment. Most religious groups, however, agree that God hates gay people and frowns on the consumption of products containing pork. In a bizarre twist of fate God demands the faith of followers without the burden of evidence - however, this demand could not have been put forward without direct evidence that God exists (i.e. God must exist in order to issue commands to his followers).
by superm0nkey May 06, 2007
Q; Why is the sky blue? A; Ask Google
Q; Why do my farts smell like cheese? A; Ask Google
Q; What is the definition of Slizzard? A; Ash Google, and it will send you to Urban Dictionary
Q; Why ask Google? A; Because Google knows all, therefore, is God
Q; Why do my farts smell like cheese? A; Ask Google
Q; What is the definition of Slizzard? A; Ash Google, and it will send you to Urban Dictionary
Q; Why ask Google? A; Because Google knows all, therefore, is God
by AnimeAsh2006 November 24, 2010
God depends on your view of things. It could be the almighty all-in-one awesome dude. It could be 1000's of different people for every little thing. It could just be the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the sky (which I personaly belive in). Or (if your athiest) it could be nothing, your god could be money, Pokemanz, Urban Dictionary, ect.
1. Look! It's god coming down from heaven!
2. My village mainly worships the sun god, Apollo, who do you worship?
3. HOLY **** IT'S THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER! *bows*
4. *Hugs money* Your all I'll ever need besides my anal vibrator...
2. My village mainly worships the sun god, Apollo, who do you worship?
3. HOLY **** IT'S THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER! *bows*
4. *Hugs money* Your all I'll ever need besides my anal vibrator...
by TehFlyingSpaghettiMonstz0rOLOL February 11, 2010
God: Do what I say or you will burn in a fire pit after you die.
Religious person: Yes master. You're not a bastard at all.
Religious person: Yes master. You're not a bastard at all.
by Bloodbath 87 March 06, 2009