When I masturbate I think of you

What normal, rational girls don't want to hear.

After band class, some random kid told me "When I masturbate I think of you."

by Jinx (Name already Used) December 27, 2010

Masturbation will make you go blind

Blindness caused from masturbation as a result of ejaculating into oneselfs eyeballs.

Grandma said masturbation will make you go blind

by Yourwrongangel November 3, 2020

Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October

When you want to nut in November so you do this.

Fuck No Nut November! Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October it is!

by LazuliStar June 7, 2020

Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.

Not only does it make you go blind and grow hair on your palms, but it also kills kittens!

Jeff: What are you doing in there Steve?
Steve: Um...masturbating
Jeff: Steve NO! Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Think of the kittens!

by 89diehl September 26, 2010

Masturbate

The act of stroking your hard aroused dick back and forth until it releases cum and you get an orgasm, also a mess.

James saw as Jenny walked into the classroom, her perfect ass shaking up and down gave Jimmy a nervous arousal. He tried getting it down but it only got harder with each touch. Jenny walked over a few desks away from him which made his cock pop right out of his pants. He tried frantically tucking it back in but it was too late as Jenny had seen it. She got closer to him and took off her bra while turning around and placing her ass on James's desk, just inches away from his rock-hard member. At this point he couldn't take it anymore and started to masturbate wildly while rubbing it against Jenny's buttcheeks which revealed a pink thong. By now the entire class had noticed but he couldn't care less and was just a few strokes away from orgasm. Finally he moaned as he released shots upon shots upon shots of hot sperm as the entire class was left astonished. Snapping back to reality he noticed Jenny covering her mouth with her hand in shock while all dressed and never took off anything or was showing her ass and had realized he had imagined the whole thing. He frantically ran for the bathroom as the entire class was left speechless.

by EpicBoi47 October 13, 2022

joke masturbation

The act of laughing at or enjoying your own jokes to such an extent to which it may be seen to cause you arousal.

Steve: Don't you find it weird how Dave always laughs at his own jokes? They aren't even funny...

James: Yeah, he's really into joke masturbation.

by MegaP143 May 29, 2017

masturbed

the feeling of being disturbed while walking in on someone masturbating

just walked in on trevor beating his meat, i’m masturbed.

by anonymous July 19, 2022