When I masturbate I think of you

What normal, rational girls don't want to hear.

After band class, some random kid told me "When I masturbate I think of you."

by Jinx (Name already Used) December 27, 2010

Masturbation will make you go blind

Blindness caused from masturbation as a result of ejaculating into oneselfs eyeballs.

Grandma said masturbation will make you go blind

by Yourwrongangel November 3, 2020

Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October

When you want to nut in November so you do this.

Fuck No Nut November! Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October it is!

by LazuliStar June 7, 2020

Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.

Not only does it make you go blind and grow hair on your palms, but it also kills kittens!

Jeff: What are you doing in there Steve?
Steve: Um...masturbating
Jeff: Steve NO! Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Think of the kittens!

by 89diehl September 26, 2010

Masturbation

When one fondles their groin until cum explodes out

Jake had nothing to do and he lived alone so he grabbed his laptop and some lotion. Jake ran to his bedroom. He took his pants off and got under the covers. He put the laptop next to himself and put porn on. He spread the lotion on his hands and started the masturbation process. He got hard instantly and rubbed the lotion on his penis for 5 minutes. Cum came flying out. His covers were ruined. Jack didn't care, he kept going, until he heard a knock on the door. His girlfriend came over with condoms and dildos.

"Sarah don't come in yet!" Jack yelled.

Sarah came in anyway to the sight of Jack masturbating. Sarah lifted her top.

"Bite it off!" Sarah said whilst showing her tits to Jack.
The strange man bit Sarah's bra off and sucked on her tits like there was no tomorrow. Sarah took her pants off and shoved Jack's penis in her vagina and shoved the dildo in her ass. 30 minutes later they're both sleeping doggy style.

by cbgfyfhuddddddbvkfegiyyyyyyyyy April 1, 2023

micro-masturbating

Where you delay climax and extend your sexual endurance by tightening your pelvic muscles, it's a way of edging found on TikTok recently.

He has been micro-masturbating for three hours straight.

by ardakirca March 14, 2025

Anti-Masturbation Cross

An anti-masturbation cross is a device used by wankerphobic Christians. It combines the cross with straps to keep people from the age of 5+ from masturbating. It should be ended to help end wankerphobia.

John's parents are going to buy an anti-masturbation cross. I'm praying for him. I think Seb may have tipped them off.

by A_Manwithhiv April 22, 2021