The Hartman Defense

The Hartman Defense is, in general, when a person simply proclaims they have no knowledge of anything at all, therefore could not be guilty of anything, ever. Defendant simply raises their voice and shouts "I don't know nothin'". It is brilliant in it's simplicity.

Attorney: Where were you on the night of July 22nd, 2013?

Defendant: I plead The Hartman Defense.

Attorney: Please elaborate.

Defendant: I don't know nothin'!

Judge: (pounds gavel) Case dismissed.

by BUBBS January 17, 2014

Paul Higham Self-Defence

Paul Higham Self-Defence is a technique used by police forces to take down 3 people at once by using both arms and one leg, each hitting one person.

Dude did you watch crime watch?
Yeah, he used Paul Higham Self-Defence against three criminals! They had no chance against him.

by TheDaddyBadgerFace September 14, 2016

stay at home defence

A player who shows consistent lack of skill/talent/ability. You place these players as far away as possible from scoring opportunities. They show some ability in that they can skate and hit. Coaches will often tell them it's because they are needed back to protect the net.

Oh, I don't score because I'm stay at home defence

by stayathomedefence March 24, 2017

saran wrap defense

Its how the Clevand Browns get a 0-100 record

You should really change that saran wrap defense

by ACKACKACK123987 January 28, 2018

spam/telemarketer defense

Refers to a person's using the well-known prevalence of widespread fake/mass-advertising correspondence as an excuse for his not obeying/acknowledging a 100%-legitimate-but-unwelcome message he has received, such as a hefty bill, restraining order, or other upsetting/disappointing directive that he does not wish to comply with ("Well, it made no sense to me, so I honestly believed it was just a fake message, and simply shrugged it off"). The effectiveness and/or defense-worthiness of said practice --- and your chances of being let off the hook as a result --- can sometimes be further bolstered by "pre-innocentizing" yourself (such as frequently showing up in court for no reason and claiming every time that you'd received an order to appear, and then finally --- after being irritably told for the umpteenth time by the court-clerk that they'd never sent you a summons --- declaring in a frustrated huff, "Fine... well, I guess somebody's been playing sick jokes on me, so from now on I'm just gonna simply IGNORE any and all such notices I receive!") sometime before committing whatever infractions would likely result in said unwelcome orders, so that you can appear justified in your non-compliance with what you supposedly thought was yet another fake order.

I successfully used the spam/telemarketer defense when asked why I hadn't answered a court-summons; I just said, "Oh, that notice was REAL? Oh my --- well, I'd honestly believed it was a fake message... since I've had so many pushy telemarketers and con-men harass me --- sometimes even falsely claiming to be tax-auditors or law-enforcement personnel --- that I'd long ago adopted an 'ignore any and all such notices as fake' policy."

by QuacksO August 9, 2018

white boy defense

when you have a defender that is "meat riding" you without actually playing defense

"Yo, let's play these niggas"

"nah man he play white boy defense"

by yxrick November 11, 2018

German Secretary of Defense

Currently it is Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer who you cannot take serious because she is a career horny wannabe chancellor.
In order to increase the probability to be nominated for the chancellor job she just ran for the office of the Secretary of Defense.
She does not have any military experience neither.
She is also known as “Mini Merkel” because people compare her limply incompetent politics with Merkel.
Now the Bundeswehr (German Military) is fucked up again.

1: Do you know the German Secretary of Defense?

2: Before it was Ursula von der Leyen. But van der Leyen is now Commission President of the EU.
Now the Secretary of Defense of Germany is Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer.
What a difficult name, huh?
And again a limply person for an office next to Merkel.

by aPublisherFromEurope July 25, 2019