I am a turtle

When all the fangirls misunderstand what you said.

You: "I̴̥̍̅͊ ̶̭̲͆A ̨̹̥̠̿̌͠M̴̛̬͍̀̊̕ ̹̓̀͂̉E ̜̥̲̤̏͑T̵̲̗͇͉̑È̵͕̖̣̗̓͝R ̪̫̟̩̄̓̒N̴̳͉̝̮̆̌A ͎͎̅͒Ḷ̵̒͐͗̕"
Random Fangirl: Omg, did he just say "I am a turtle?"
You: ...no wtf

by thatJSEandMerkfangirl April 28, 2019

turtle monkey

Highly evolved human form consistant of
Part Turtle / Part Monkey:
An insane, silly, complex monkey that keeps everything you ever wanted to know locked inside his turtle shell. He is intelligent, sexy, mysterious, sweet (when he wants to be), great at a number of sexual favors, and good conversation (when he can be pulled away from his electronic toys). One day I may just have to smash his shell with a hammer and reveal all his secrets. He has a sidekick named Tony, who really knows how to work it. His toungue will drive you insane. His lips will make you melt. His complexity will never cease to amaze you, as you lie awake at night pondering how he just made your toes tingle and your eyes fill with tears....

Who knew?...that Turtle Monkey would flip my world upside down and leave me standing at the edge of the earth with my mouth wide open, wondering what the hell happened to my sanity?

by afina May 1, 2006

Turtle heading

Refraining from such act as "pooing" when your turd comes out a little and then goes back in!

Right now im Turtle heading.

Dam i need the crapper, i'm turtle heading!

by Shady Figure October 5, 2011

Turtle Race

Retardedly slow drivers who insist on going at least 10 miles under the speed limit, whilst in snychronization, causing the brains of all drivers behind the turtles to explode out of the tops of their heads.

When you're driving & 2 (or more) nitwits (usually people 55+) are having a turtle race at the exact same speed as eachother (generally 45 mph & lower) in front of you, making it so no one can pass until another lane opens, resulting in you, the driver, screaming really loudly due to infuriation.

by feirinnheit April 4, 2009

The Turtle

A sex position that occurs when the females legs rest on the males shoulders and he leans over from on top of her, pushing her legs against her body, creating a shell over her body. The male continues to penetrate her.

"Me and Billy turtled last night; it felt so good!"

"When Billy turtles me it gets so deep"

"Hey Molly, what do you say we try the turtle tonight?"

by VickySue December 31, 2009

Turtle Mother princess

loves to bury head in sand, strong willed, wide set vagina. Lets all species suck on her tits. Extremely sexy and will trick you into sex, so she can have more babies. Loves sea shells and insane. very snappy.

mariah preston is such a turtle mother princess, look at her boobs!

Damn Mariah is being such a turtle mother princess, what a trifling whore like her mother.

by turtle mother October 22, 2011

barking turtle

(Noun) A fart that creates a rapid, snapping noise as it is expelled.

Dick: What in the hell was that?
Jane: It was a barking turtle.
Dick: Pee-yooo...

Or, alternatively,

Dick: I think someone just broke into the house.
Jane: No, it was just my turle barking.
Dick: Pee-yooo...

by Daphne M. September 21, 2007