ass jesus

God himself, embodied into a profile picture of jouta kujo and brings holiness upon the land.

"man, how did joe finally get laid?"
"nobody knows, we can only thank ass Jesus"

by juwupiter February 12, 2020

jesus perez

Jesus Perez is a guy who does not like to be called the real Jesus only jesus. He is really kind and will always be by your side. He might not be attractive but does have girls behind him. He is very smart and will not just help u but will give u answers. He will always try to make u smile and will always cheer u up.

Jesus: Hey there need some help
Kiesha: Yes
Jesus: I will not help u I will give u the answers
Kiesha: Thnx
Jesus: NP

Jesus Perez is smart

by JP 30071 October 17, 2020

Jesus Shield

People who proselytize and wave Jesus' name around when they are directly or indirectly accused of unethical or otherwise morally hazardous behavior.

Wow - what's up with Ted! All I called out was that I thought his cheating on his wife was not cool and he pulled out his Jesus Shield!

by RoSatanSF October 15, 2013

cheesus jesus

the lord's lord.

WE PRAISED CHEESUS JESUS ON FETA FRIDAY ALL THE WAY TILL SWISS SUNDAY!!

by One Bad Banana October 16, 2011

Prettier Jesus

Refering to pop star Lorde, who is infact, a Prettier Jesus, as she states in her song "Solar Power".

Yo, who sang that song Royals in like 2013?

The Prettier Jesus did!

by ellasellaphant July 1, 2022

Tombstone Jesus

Tombstone Jesus is an american professional wrestler. A Legend in his own mind. Unfortunately his mind is that of an old fart with dementia. He claims to be the leader of the tombiverse,age in bad ass years and have ak-47 blood type. Even in the wrestling world that is clearly the ramblings of someone with clear brain damage. Usually seen wandering the desert with his equally moronic son Otto von Clutch. The to constantly post the adventures of dumb and dumber. Adventures nobody wants to watch but much like a train wreck they can't help but look. The Worst wrestling match in history is the match between tombstone Jesus and the American giant Buck brezner. As a result of that match to this day having a bad performance is known as pulling a Tombstone. The only thing that may be worse than his wrestling could possibly be his music.

Bro you are in the Maine tonight. Please for the love of everything holy please don't pull a Tombstone Jesus

by Dcw fan November 16, 2022

Comin of Jesus

When you’re in trouble with your boss and having a coaching session with them.

Terry was always late for work so the boss gave him a Comin of Jesus meeting

by Dnurse15 July 10, 2021