apple jesus banana disorder

Apple Jesus Banana Disorder is a disorder that makes you hallucinate about apples and bananas, and the only cure is Jesus.

“I have Apple Jesus Banana Disorder.”

by mizukithesilly November 8, 2023

feet to jesus

having sex with a woman, a sexual referance.

Fucking a woman while her feet are point towards the sky

Corey:did u have sex with your girl yet
ME:hell yeah i put her feet to jesus

by themjc96 January 4, 2012

Cup Of Jesus

When you or someone need Jesus.

Looks like this is going to be a crazy day today I need a cup of Jesus

by Random Chick June 6, 2015

Sacred Heart of Jesus School

Sacred Heart, the school the size of an atom located in Lancaster PA where girls wear either ridiculous plaid jumpers or kilts and our guys look so bad it's disgusting. At Sacred Heart, you will find your favorite websites such as coolmathgames have been blocked Mhm.They don't block Twitter,YouTube or Reddit but they block coolmathgames.Already a red flag.You have no clothing freedom to make a statement. They have uniforms and you are not allowed to wear extensions,makeup,fake nails,rings,etc. Probably the only good thing about our school is every grade (K-8) all get recess. But of course, unless you owe a teacher something you have to go for recess and can't leave. We also have a lunch period in our molecule cafeteria. Our lunches are so bad you could probably get food poisoning from it. The lunch lady is strict as hell and if you even breathe, bam detention. At Sacred Heart, we have no changing lockers. If you have a gym class for 30 minutes, so be it. You're wearing the same gym clothing the entire day. Have fun smelling like shit for a whole 7 hours. We have a "bully-go-bye-bye" reporting system on the crap app STOPit but of course it barely even works, making it possible for a kid to be beaten up by a kid 3 years younger than them. We have to go to Masses on Fridays and have a tone-deaf priest lead the Mass.. So, yeah. Don't come to Sacred Heart. It sucks. (And if someone who goes there/has gone there is reading this, hey man how you doing?)

Don't go to Sacred Heart of Jesus School, it's actual shit.

Person A: Hey man, why don't you like to go to school?
Person B: Because it's Sacred Heart of Jesus School.
Person A: Oh.

by EEEEE IM WALUIGI April 30, 2019

room for Jesus

when you sit next to someone but far enough away to leave room for another person or Jesus.

yea when Emma and nick sat next to each other there was enough room for Jesus..

by minecraftdick September 23, 2019

holy bloody jesus

holy bloody jesus a phrase used in shock or surprise when curse words are not appropriate or you want to polite

holy bloody jesus that lightning strike was loud

holy bloody jesus playing in the mud was fun

by bluebear December 25, 2022

Going Mach Jesus

Operating or being a passenger in or on a water/land vehicle at such a velocity or in such a precarious way that the result in losing control of the vehicle and/or simply crashing would result in an inevitable fatality, which would lead to you meeting Jesus himself, hence the term.

For example: Going over 85/90mph on the highway would most likely be considered going Mach Jesus due to the fact that a sudden stop at that speed would kill the passengers of the vehicle. Doing dangerous stunts at high speeds and/or going more than double in a residential, although probably not fatal for the passengers, could be considered Mach Jesus.

Going so fast in a speed boat that colliding with another would not only destroy the boat but more than likely kill the passengers.

“Ahhhhh! Carl! The fuck are you doing?”
“I’m going Mach Jesus!”
“You just went Mach shit yourself.”

by YoungGirl/wDirtyTricks June 27, 2023